Flirting in person can feel scary, but it’s actually a fun way to show someone you like them. When done right, flirting creates a spark between two people and helps build connection.
These ten proven techniques will help you flirt with confidence and make a great impression, whether you’re at a coffee shop, party, or just hanging out.
1. Make Eye Magic Happen
Looking someone in the eyes creates an instant connection that words sometimes can’t. When you catch their gaze across the room, hold it for a few seconds and add a small smile before looking away.
This subtle move shows confidence and interest without saying a word. Most people feel special when someone truly sees them.
Practice makes perfect with this skill—try it with friends or family first if you’re nervous. Remember that genuine eye contact feels warm and interested, not like an intense staring contest!
2. Smile Like You Mean It
A real smile does amazing things to your face and sends a clear message that you’re happy to be talking with someone. Your eyes crinkle at the corners, your face lights up, and you instantly become more attractive.
People naturally want to be around others who seem happy and positive. When you smile genuinely, you create a welcoming energy that pulls others toward you.
Don’t force it though—think of something that actually makes you happy if you need help creating an authentic smile. Your natural glow will shine through!
3. Give Compliments That Count
Anyone can say “you look nice,” but noticing something specific shows you’re really paying attention. Maybe you love how passionate they get when talking about their hobby or appreciate their unique sense of style.
The best compliments highlight things that aren’t obvious to everyone. When you notice something personal about someone, it creates an instant connection.
Keep your praise sincere and specific—people can tell when you’re just saying something to flatter them. A thoughtful compliment about their laugh or clever thinking will stick with them long after your conversation ends.
4. Play With Playful Teasing
Light-hearted teasing creates a fun energy between two people. The secret is keeping it positive and playful—never target insecurities or anything the person might feel sensitive about.
Good teasing feels like an inside joke that brings you closer together. For example, gently poking fun at their passionate defense of pineapple on pizza or their adorable concentration face.
Always follow teasing with a warm smile or laugh so they know it’s all in good fun. This playful back-and-forth builds chemistry and shows you’re comfortable enough with each other to joke around.
5. Master the Art of Gentle Touch
Brief, appropriate touches create instant connection in a way words alone cannot. A light touch on someone’s arm while laughing at their joke or a quick brush of hands while reaching for something can send powerful signals.
The key is keeping touches brief, natural, and appropriate to your relationship. Pay close attention to how the other person responds—if they seem comfortable or touch you back, that’s a good sign.
Remember that personal boundaries vary widely between cultures and individuals. Always respect signals that someone prefers more personal space, and never force physical contact when it isn’t welcomed.
6. Speak With Your Body
Your body tells a story even when your mouth isn’t moving. Standing or sitting with your shoulders back and body angled toward someone shows you’re interested in them.
Crossing your arms creates an invisible barrier between you, while leaning slightly forward shows engagement. Mirroring their movements—like taking a sip of your drink when they do—creates subconscious connection.
Relaxed, open posture makes you appear confident and approachable. Remember that fidgeting with your phone or looking around the room sends the message that you’d rather be somewhere else, so put distractions away and stay present.
7. Ask Questions That Matter
Curiosity is attractive! Asking thoughtful questions shows genuine interest in getting to know someone beyond surface-level chat. Skip basic questions like “What do you do?” and try “What part of your work makes you feel most accomplished?”
Great questions invite stories rather than one-word answers. When someone shares something, follow up with questions that show you’re really listening.
The magic happens when you balance asking and sharing. After they answer, add your own thoughts or experiences before asking something new. This creates a natural conversation flow that feels less like an interview and more like a real connection.
8. Laugh Your Way to Connection
Shared laughter creates an instant bond between people. Finding humor in everyday situations shows you don’t take life too seriously and creates a relaxed atmosphere where flirting can happen naturally.
Appreciating someone else’s sense of humor is just as important as showing off your own. When you genuinely laugh at their jokes, you make them feel clever and appreciated.
Self-deprecating humor in small doses can be especially effective—it shows confidence when you can laugh at yourself. Just keep it light and avoid putting yourself down too much, as excessive self-criticism can make others uncomfortable.
9. Listen Like You Mean It
Active listening might be the most underrated flirting skill. When someone feels truly heard, they feel valued and important. Make eye contact, nod, and respond with comments that show you’re following along.
Remember details they share and bring them up later. Nothing feels better than someone recalling something you mentioned in passing.
Resist the urge to plan what you’ll say next or to immediately turn the conversation back to yourself. Instead, stay present and curious about what they’re sharing. This kind of attentiveness is rare and incredibly attractive in a world where most people are just waiting for their turn to talk.
10. Be Authentically You
The most magnetic quality in flirting isn’t a clever line or perfect hair—it’s authenticity. People are naturally drawn to those who seem comfortable in their own skin and aren’t trying to be someone they’re not.
Share your real interests and opinions, even if they’re not what you think the other person wants to hear. Your genuine enthusiasm for things you love is infectious and interesting.
Remember that the goal of flirting isn’t just to make someone like you—it’s to see if you actually connect with each other. If you pretend to be someone else, you might attract the wrong person or miss out on connecting with someone who would appreciate the real you.
