Ever wondered why some people seem to find amazing partners while others keep running into relationship disasters? The secret might be simpler than you think: standards!
Setting higher expectations in your dating life isn’t about being picky or demanding – it’s about valuing yourself enough to wait for someone truly worth your time.
Let’s explore why raising the bar might be the best dating decision you’ll ever make.
1. Your Dating History Looks Like a Horror Movie
Take a moment to scroll through your ex-list. If it resembles the cast of a psychological thriller, your standards might need some serious elevation! Those “exciting” personalities that kept you on emotional rollercoasters weren’t bringing spice to your life – they were bringing chaos.
Remember that time you thought jealousy meant they really cared? Or when you convinced yourself that checking your phone was just them being “protective”? Yeah, those weren’t love stories – they were warning signs.
Higher standards act like a bouncer at the door of your heart, keeping the emotional vampires and drama kings/queens where they belong – in your past, not your future.
2. Mediocre Partners Are Like Soggy French Fries
You know that disappointment when you’re craving crispy, golden fries but get limp, lukewarm potato sticks instead? That’s exactly what settling in relationships feels like! Nobody excitedly tells their friends, “Guess what? I found someone who’s just…adequate!”
Low standards lead to relationships that satisfy your hunger temporarily but leave you wanting something better. The “meh” partner might check basic boxes – they’re human, they text back occasionally, they remember your birthday (sometimes).
But just like those sad fries, they leave you wondering why you didn’t hold out for something that actually makes your taste buds dance with joy.
3. Your Self-Esteem Isn’t a Clearance Item
Would you put a “75% OFF! EVERYTHING MUST GO!” sign on your most valuable possession? Then why discount your worth in relationships? Your self-esteem deserves full-price treatment, not bargain-bin handling.
Low standards broadcast to the universe (and potential partners) that you’ll accept crumbs instead of the whole cake. The wild part? People generally value what they have to work for, not what falls into their lap with zero effort.
When you raise your standards, something magical happens – you start attracting people who recognize your value because you recognized it first. No more emotional shoplifters trying to get your premium qualities at discount prices!
4. The Bare Minimum Shouldn’t Get a Standing Ovation
“He remembered my birthday!” “She texted back within 24 hours!” “They didn’t cheat…this month!” If you’re celebrating these basic human courtesies like they’re exceptional achievements, your standards bar is lying on the ground. Adults don’t get gold stars for doing what decent humans should do anyway.
Texting back isn’t a special skill – it’s communication 101. Remembering important dates isn’t extraordinary – smartphones have calendars built in. Not cheating isn’t an accomplishment – it’s the baseline of commitment.
When you praise the bare minimum, you tell partners they don’t need to bring their best. Raise that bar until it’s at least high enough that someone has to actually try to clear it!
5. Your Future Self Is Watching Your Choices
Imagine your future self sitting in a movie theater, popcorn in hand, watching the relationship decisions you’re making right now. Are they cheering you on or hiding behind their hands in secondhand embarrassment? That future version of you has to live with today’s choices!
Every “just this once” exception to your standards becomes tomorrow’s precedent. That text you shouldn’t have answered at 2am? Future You is now dealing with a partner who regularly disturbs your sleep.
The red flag you ignored because they were “so cute”? Future You is now untangling their life from someone who makes them miserable. High standards aren’t just protecting present you – they’re a love letter to the person you’ll become.
6. Dating Isn’t a Rescue Mission
Unless you’re wearing a cape and fighting crime at night, you’re not in the superhero business. Yet so many people enter relationships thinking they can “fix” or “save” someone with enough love and patience. Spoiler alert: that project partner usually stays under construction indefinitely.
The fixer-upper house might be a good investment. The fixer-upper human? Not so much. When you raise your standards, you stop auditioning for roles as therapist, parent, financial advisor, and life coach to potential partners.
You deserve someone who arrives already assembled with their emotional furniture intact, not someone who needs you to build them from an instruction manual that’s missing half the pages!
7. Your Time Has an Expiration Date
Breaking news: You’re not immortal! Every minute spent with someone who doesn’t meet your standards is time you’ll never get back. Those three years with that emotionally unavailable ex? That’s 1,095 days you could have spent finding someone amazing (or at least learning a new language).
Low standards are like investing your life savings in a company that makes square wheels. Sure, maybe they’ll revolutionize transportation someday, but probably not.
Higher standards act as your personal time-management system, filtering out the energy vampires, commitment-phobes, and emotional tourists who would otherwise occupy space in your limited lifetime. Your time deserves to be spent on people who actually deserve the gift of your presence!
8. The Relationship You Accept Sets the Template
Ever noticed how kids from happy homes often create happy homes themselves? That’s because we tend to recreate what feels familiar. The relationship standards you accept today become the blueprint for every future connection – yikes!
Low standards don’t just affect your current situation; they’re programming your relationship operating system for life. If you normalize being treated poorly now, your brain files that under “this is what relationships look like.”
By raising your standards, you’re essentially telling your brain, “Update your software! This is the new normal.” Future you will be grateful you installed that premium relationship expectation package instead of sticking with the free trial version that kept crashing.
9. Great Relationships Aren’t Found – They’re Selected
Finding your perfect match isn’t like winning the lottery – it’s more like careful shopping. Nobody accidentally ends up with an amazing partner! Those enviable relationships you see aren’t products of luck; they’re the result of people who refused to settle for the relationship equivalent of gas station sushi.
Having high standards means recognizing that ‘better than being alone’ isn’t actually a relationship qualification. It’s the dating equivalent of saying “better than getting punched in the face” – technically true, but setting the bar underground.
Selection requires options, and options come from the willingness to say “no thanks” to what doesn’t serve you. The most powerful relationship tool isn’t charm or good looks – it’s the word “next!”
10. Your Partner Is Your Life’s Co-Pilot
Would you let someone with no license fly your plane? Then why let someone with no emotional intelligence, ambition, or basic human decency co-pilot your life? Your relationship isn’t just about fun Friday nights – it’s about who’s sitting beside you during life’s turbulence.
When you raise your standards, you’re acknowledging the profound impact your partner has on your life trajectory. This isn’t just who shares your Netflix account; it’s who influences your decisions, habits, and happiness levels daily.
Low standards might land you a co-pilot who falls asleep at the controls or bails out mid-flight with your emotional parachute. High standards ensure you’re soaring with someone who knows how to navigate storms and enjoy the view along the way.
