Ever wonder if you’re actually into the person you’re dating, or just afraid of being alone? It’s a common trap many of us fall into – jumping from relationship to relationship to avoid facing that empty apartment.
The truth is, dating because you’re lonely rarely leads to lasting happiness. Let’s explore some telling signs that your romantic choices might be driven more by fear of solitude than genuine connection.
1. Your Netflix Password Is More Sacred Than Your Relationship
You’ll share your bed but not your streaming accounts. When they ask for your Netflix password, you panic like they’ve asked for a kidney. Meanwhile, you’ve already mentally planned your breakup for after the season finale of that show you’re watching together.
Deep down, you know you’re just using them as a warm body to cuddle with during those Sunday night shows. The relationship serves as background noise to drown out the silence of your apartment, much like leaving the TV on when you’re home alone.
2. Your Date’s Name Is More of a Suggestion Than a Requirement
Oops! You called them by your ex’s name… again. Or worse, you’ve caught yourself thinking, “What’s-their-name will do for now.” Names become interchangeable because, honestly, their primary function is filling the blank space in your contact list.
You’ve mastered the art of vague pet names like “babe” and “honey” to avoid the embarrassment of forgetting who you’re with. When friends ask about your new partner, you describe them with generic terms like “nice” and “fun” because you haven’t bothered learning anything specific.
3. Your Phone Is the Third Wheel on Every Date
Your date is talking, but you’re scrolling through Instagram wondering if someone better might message you. The phone stays face-up on the table like a lifeline to escape the mediocre company you’ve settled for. You’re more excited about notifications than anything your date has to say.
During bathroom breaks, you frantically check dating apps to line up your next option. Your camera roll is filled with selfies taken during dates, not with your date but for potential matches elsewhere. The irony is painful – you’re using technology to escape loneliness while it’s making genuine connection impossible.
4. Your Relationship Status Matters More Than Who Fills It
Wedding season approaches and panic sets in – you need a plus-one STAT! The person beside you will do just fine, even if conversation feels like pulling teeth. You’ve perfected the art of the strategic relationship, timed perfectly for holidays, family reunions, and that ex’s wedding.
Your social media relationship status is changed faster than your actual feelings develop. Friends notice you’re suddenly coupled up right before major social events. The calendar on your phone has relationship milestones scheduled around upcoming occasions requiring dates.
5. You’ve Mentally Redecorated Their Apartment (Without Noticing Their Furniture)
Their place has potential – mainly as a space that isn’t your empty apartment. You’re already planning where your stuff would go without noticing their prized possessions. During overnight stays, you’re not thinking about them but about how nice it is not waking up alone.
You’ve calculated the commute from their place to work and determined it’s acceptable. The relationship evaluation checklist in your head has less to do with compatibility and more to do with practical living arrangements. Their annoying habits seem minor compared to the comfort of a shared space.
6. Your Friends Have a Betting Pool on Your Breakup Date
Your best friend asks how “what’s-his-name” is doing, then quickly corrects herself with the right name. The group chat explodes with activity whenever you announce a new relationship, mostly with eye-roll emojis. Your friends have stopped learning your partners’ names and just refer to them as “the current one.”
They’ve heard your “this one is different” speech so many times they could recite it. Nobody bothers adding your plus-one to group dinner reservations anymore because the odds of them still being around are slim. The most telling sign? Your friends look relieved rather than sad when you announce breakups.
7. Your Relationship Milestones Are Suspiciously Aligned With Holidays
Valentine’s Day approaching? Time to define the relationship! Christmas shopping season? Better lock someone down quick! Your relationship timeline looks suspiciously like a calendar of major holidays and three-day weekends.
You find yourself intensifying relationships right before family gatherings that would otherwise highlight your singleness. The thought of spending New Year’s Eve alone terrifies you more than spending it with someone you’re lukewarm about. Your dating app activity mysteriously spikes about three weeks before any major holiday.
8. Your Standards Have Dropped Lower Than Your Phone Battery at Midnight
Remember when you had a type? Now your only requirement is “has a pulse and is available tonight.” You’ve caught yourself justifying red flags with phrases like “nobody’s perfect” and “at least they text back.” Your friends exchange worried glances when you introduce your latest partner.
Dating profiles that would have been automatic left-swipes six months ago now seem “charming” and “quirky.” You’ve developed an impressive ability to ignore incompatibilities that would normally bother you. The mental gymnastics you perform to convince yourself this person is suitable would qualify you for the Olympics.
9. Your Relationship Goals Are More About Netflix and Actually Chilling
You’ve realized the main perk of dating is having someone to watch TV with. The highlight of your relationship isn’t meaningful conversation but having a reliable body on the other end of the couch. Your ideal date night involves minimal talking and maximum screen time.
The thought of breaking up becomes particularly unappealing during new show releases. You’ve stayed in relationships primarily because you’re in the middle of a series together. When evaluating potential partners, “good taste in shows” ranks suspiciously high on your priority list.
10. Your Existential Dread Spikes When They Cancel Plans
When they cancel dinner, your first thought isn’t disappointment but panic about facing an empty evening. You’ve sent that desperate “what are you up to tonight?” text to multiple contacts simultaneously. The thought of spending Friday night alone makes you break into a cold sweat.
You keep backup plans (and people) ready for whenever your primary date falls through. Your reaction to cancellations seems disproportionately intense compared to your actual feelings about the person. The anxiety you feel isn’t about missing them specifically – it’s about missing anyone at all.
