Married Young, Divorced Later: 10 Reasons It Happens So Often

Many young couples marry in the hopes of making it work and believing that it will be forever.

They are also likely to think that they are completely committed to each other, but as time passes by, both spouses change in ways that were previously unanticipated. They become more responsible and develop new identities.

Therefore, the way that they originally viewed their relationship may no longer be the same way that they see it en el futuro. The fact that both spouses changed does not mean that their marriage was doomed from the start, but rather that life changed dramatically.

That said, there are several reasons that couples often marry too young and end up divorcing as adults later.

1. People Change Drastically In Their 20s

People change as they age; thus, people married at, for example, 22 will most likely not be the same people at 32. People go through changes with their priorities, values, and emotional needs at a fast rate during the early adult period.

Many young couples who marry find themselves growing apart from one another, or at least one partner matures or changes more rapidly than the other, or realizes that they want something different out of life than their partner.

The growth that occurs as one matures usually creates a gap. Therefore, love alone cannot fill the gap. Change of this nature is normal; however, young marriages are particularly susceptible to it.

2. Identity Was Not Fully Formed

Most people marry before understanding themselves better. Early adulthood is where identity development continues to grow.

Self-awareness, goal direction, and boundary-forming are not concrete, so choices made by either partner are not always the best choices.

As identities begin to evolve, one or both partners may feel restricted by the early decision and resent the other partner.

3. Limited Relationship Experience

Young marriage usually means less dating experience, so without comparisons, it’s easy to overlook red flags. Conflict styles and emotional compatibility are often not understood until later.

People come to understand better what is required for a healthy relationship over time, and this new understanding of what should be there makes apparent what is not.

While experience brings clarity, it also provides an opportunity to grow frustrated with earlier decisions made due to a lack of perspective.

4. Pressure Instead Of Readiness

Pressure can lead to early marriage, whether from family expectations, religion, pregnancy, or fear of losing the partner.

Unresolved doubts resurface when the pressure fades and reality sets in.

What once felt necessary may have later been forced; this can result in emotional distancing and regret.

5. Unrealistic Expectations About Marriage

Young couples are often very hopeful about marriage. Often, couples will believe that love will fix everything.

When couples have problems, they can feel like failures at times during conflict; eventually, couples will be challenged with the realities of marriage. Communication, compromise, and emotional maturity are needed for a successful marriage.

Disappointment is greater when there is a gap between someone’s expectations and reality. Without tools to work through problems, many couples will grow apart due to the overwhelming weight of reality being heavier than imagined.

6. Financial Stress Appears Later

Married couples frequently experience difficulties with finances even after being married for several years. The couples’ careers, increasing responsibilities, and corresponding financial pressure change as well.

Many young couples aren’t aware that this may occur. During tough times, your partner’s personal values and/or priorities can differ from yours, leading to tension over how to spend, save, or achieve greater financial stability.

Financial problems are commonly regarded as one of the top stressors in relationships over time.

7. Emotional Maturity Develops At Different Speeds

Partners can develop independently, resulting in the possibility of one individual developing significantly while another does not.

This imbalance can lead to difficulties in communication and unfulfilled emotional needs.

All of this can lead to a sense of carrying a relationship alone and increased distance between partners.

8. Missed Personal Experiences

Many feel they have missed out on certain life experiences, such as traveling, being independent, and discovering oneself, leaving them feeling restless and increasingly curious about what their life may have looked like if they had experienced these things.

The value of commitment is great, but it can also create dissatisfaction if you still have longings for things.

If you have regrets about anything, this does not mean that you have no love for the other person, but it can create distance between the two of you.

9. Communication Patterns Were Never Built

Young couples often shy away from difficult conversations. They may feel afraid of conflict and choose not to address issues; instead, they ignore the problem until it becomes larger.

The lack of effective communication results in building secrecy. Intimacy is lost with the continued use of silence, so when effective communication ceases to occur, young married couples have difficulty reconnecting with one another.

Many young marriages fail because of unresolved small issues rather than any single large issue.

10. Staying Together For The Wrong Reasons

Fear, children, shared history, and comfort keep some couples together much longer than they should be. Even as love fades, the feeling of obligation remains.

Eventually, the emotional exhaustion takes its toll on the relationship, and divorce will happen much later rather than sooner.

The act of ending the relationship is often a means to obtain the self-respect that is deserved. Staying in a relationship too long often does more damage than ending it sooner.