{"id":100277,"date":"2026-02-06T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-06T21:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/?p=100277"},"modified":"2026-02-06T13:25:56","modified_gmt":"2026-02-06T11:25:56","slug":"avoidants-heartbreak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/avoidants-heartbreak\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoidants &#038; Heartbreak: What Really Goes Down When True Love Leaves"},"content":{"rendered":"<style>img#mv-trellis-img-1::before{padding-top:56.333333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-1{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-2::before{padding-top:66.583333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-2{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-3::before{padding-top:56.242969628796%; }img#mv-trellis-img-3{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-4::before{padding-top:56.333333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-4{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-5::before{padding-top:56.333333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-5{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-6::before{padding-top:56.333333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-6{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-7::before{padding-top:56.333333333333%; }img#mv-trellis-img-7{display:block;}<\/style>\n<p>Breaking up with an avoidant isn&rsquo;t as straightforward as you might think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When a relationship runs its course, and you finally decide to end it, you might feel better if your ex were crying, reaching out, or begging for another chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, they don&rsquo;t work that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To an avoidant, a <strong>rottura<\/strong> comes as <strong>a relief<\/strong> and a breath of fresh air.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It might be a heartbreak for you, but for them, it&rsquo;s freedom &ndash; in the beginning, at least.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Phase 1: Protecting Their Ego<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-100312\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100312\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20676'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='676'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100312 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-1\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>The first couple of weeks after a breakup, an avoidant&rsquo;s mind kicks into damage control.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They start <strong>rewriting the facts<\/strong>, blaming you for being too needy, for pushing too hard, for not understanding&hellip;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They might convince themselves that you just wanted different things, and that the relationship was too overwhelming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The truth doesn&rsquo;t concern them in this phase &ndash; it&rsquo;s all about their ego.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Admitting that they were the problem means <strong>taking accountability<\/strong>, acknowledging that they have a fear of intimacy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, they&rsquo;d rather create a narrative that paints them as the victim and you as the crazy ex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Phase 2: The Flatline<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-100279\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"799\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100279\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-960x639.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-1080x719.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-170x113.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"799\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20799'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='799'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100279 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-2\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-960x639.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-1080x719.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/boost-brain-rewire-3-170x113.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>By two to four months post-breakup, many avoidants hit the so-called &ldquo;flatline.&rdquo; They start to grieve, but not in the way you&rsquo;d think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Essi <strong>miss the potential<\/strong> of what could have been, but still tell themselves that it&rsquo;s all for the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Slowly, they start processing what happened. They throw themselves into their work, go on some dates, and occasionally think about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They&rsquo;re in a space where they&rsquo;re <strong>emotionally numb<\/strong>, trying to detach from the loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They&rsquo;re quietly rebuilding their emotional walls, convincing themselves they&rsquo;re better off without all that messy relationship stuff.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Phase 3: Selective Memory<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-99491\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"889\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-99491\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11.jpg 889w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"889\" height=\"500\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20889%20500'%3E%3Crect%20width='889'%20height='500'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-99491 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-3\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11.jpg 889w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/chronic-liar-11-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Unsplash<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>In four to six months after a breakup, something weird happens to an avoidant: they start remembering the good stuff.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Nostalgia<\/strong> gets to them, so they remember the fun they had with you, your laughter, and the comfort you provided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Conveniently, they forget your unmet needs and their suffocation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bad memories fade into the background, leaving an avoidant with the <strong>romanticized version<\/strong> of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In their mind, you start to seem amazing and no longer a threat to their autonomy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This happens because they&rsquo;d had months of freedom and no longer feel trapped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Phase 4: Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-100321\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100321\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20676'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='676'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100321 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-4\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/avoidant-heartbreak-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Six to eight months in, reality finally hits an avoidant.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They begin to realize that they might have messed up and, as a result, lost someone special.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They start stalking your social media, asking friends about you, and even trying to contact you again. They&rsquo;re <strong>testing the waters<\/strong> to see if you&rsquo;re still available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, they don&rsquo;t go beyond that, but other times, they compare new people to you and can&rsquo;t get you out of their head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is pure <strong>nostalgia<\/strong> mixed with some <strong>solitudine<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They might not miss you, but the familiarity. They&rsquo;re longing for the past, which doesn&rsquo;t mean they&rsquo;re ready to do anything differently and fix their ways.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. Phase 5: Coming Back<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-99274\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-99274\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20676'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='676'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-99274 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-5\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/protestantism-work-culture-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>This is when they&rsquo;re most likely to reach out, often in a nonchalant way. They&rsquo;d like to just slide back into your life without much fuss and explanation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, before you allow an avoidant back in, <strong>ask some questions<\/strong>. What&rsquo;s different this time around? Have they done any work on themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Are they finally ready to commit, or are they just lonely and confused?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Their answers might be fumbled and shallow, or the questions might scare them off altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Though you might be hoping that things would be better on your next try, understand that their attempts to come back are mainly <strong>a matter of impulse<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They&rsquo;re most likely not changed, and they&rsquo;ll just drag you back into their avoidant cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. Why Avoidants Keep Repeating the Cycle<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-100045\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100045\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20676'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='676'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-100045 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-6\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/mini-magic-rituals-10-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Avoidants might experience heartbreak, but it won&rsquo;t get them to leave their loop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every time, they&rsquo;ll choose <strong>fear over love<\/strong>, stuck in the habit of pulling away just when things get serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They might like the idea of a committed relationship, but they&rsquo;re not willing to put in the work and vulnerability necessary for it to function.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&rsquo;s absolutely possible for them to break the cycle, but it&rsquo;s not easy, so many of them give up even before they try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7. The Bitter Truth<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-image-97570\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-97570\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"676\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201200%20676'%3E%3Crect%20width='1200'%20height='676'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-97570 lazyload\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 40px), 728px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-728x410.jpg 728w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-480x270.jpg 480w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-320x180.jpg 320w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-960x541.jpg 960w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/angelynum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/friendship-too-much-1-170x96.jpg 170w\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&copy; Pexels<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Avoidants aren&rsquo;t really after love &ndash; they&rsquo;re after <strong>the idea of love<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In their head, there&rsquo;s a fairytale in which they have a lovely relationship with a partner who doesn&rsquo;t have any expectations of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They&rsquo;re simply not wired for true intimacy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Their pattern is to cycle through loss, nostalgia, and fleeting connections, always avoiding the vulnerability that real love demands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they truly wanted to work on the relationships, they wouldn&rsquo;t wait almost a year to reach out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, they&rsquo;d <strong>confront their fears<\/strong> and cultivate different habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, most of the time, they choose their comfort zone over love, and that&rsquo;s why a genuine connection with avoidants remains out of reach for many people.&nbsp;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Breaking up with an avoidant isn&rsquo;t as straightforward as you might think. When a relationship runs its course, and you finally decide to end it, &hellip;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":100321,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"syndication_tool_enabled":true,"syndication_tool_title":"","syndication_tool_excerpt":"","syndication_tool_featured_image":0,"syndication_tool_publish_date":"","syndication_tool_schema_types":["article"],"syndication_tool_backlink_enable":false,"syndication_tool_ai_disclosure_enable":false,"disable-in-feed":false,"article-schema-type":"Article","disable-critical-css":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-100277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100277"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101338,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100277\/revisions\/101338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/100321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angelynum.com\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}