Having close friends who value and respect us is one of the biggest blessings in life. However, some friendships are kept just for the sake of it, and sometimes we feel like we are starting to outgrow the connection we had with certain friends.
If some connections keep dragging you down, making you stressed out, or want to keep you small, it is important to know when and how to let them go.
When the Friendship Starts Draining Your Energy
If you feel tired, anxious, or overwhelmed every time you are with someone, your friendship is unhealthy. Healthy friendships add to your life; unhealthy ones take away from it.
If you notice that you have been having feelings of dread prior to seeing this person or have a sense of relief when they cancel on you, listen to your body; it will tell you the truth long before any rational thought does.
If the emotional price of this friendship outweighs the joy it brings, you may need to let go of this relationship. Choosing peace over drama is not selfish; it is responsible. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who build your spirit.
When the Friendship Is One-Sided
If you are the only person in your relationship who puts forth continuous and consistent effort, and that effort is not matched by the attempts of another party (calls, outreach, planning, and so on), then it will likely become emotionally draining to be in a one-sided friendship.
Friendships should feel equal. Therefore, you will need to watch for patterns rather than be taken in by false promises. Letting go does not mean that you do not care for him/her, but rather that you will no longer be solely responsible for keeping a relationship alive.
You deserve to have relationships where both sides show up for the other, rather than relationships where you must fade away to keep the friendship alive.
When You’ve Simply Grown Apart
It’s not unusual for friends to grow apart and stop getting along after being close in the past. However, as we grow older, our values, lifestyle, daily routines, and priorities change; our conversations and common interests will change, as well as our emotional connection to one another.
It can be frustrating to think of the great memories we had with our friends when we were younger, but at some point, we should accept that those things may not happen again.
When two people feel uncomfortable with each other because of the changes in their lives, it can create resentment toward one another.
Therefore, we need to let go of that relationship while being thankful for what it provided at the time in our lives; letting go gracefully is usually the kindest thing for both parties.
When the Friendship Affects Your Self-Worth
A critical, belittling, or competitive friend, over time, will negatively affect your self-esteem. If you ever leave the company of such a person, doubtful of your worth, abilities, and decisions, that is a sign to step away from that relationship.
A healthy friend will not have the ability to diminish your identity but will facilitate your growth. However, if that friend continues to diminish your confidence, you may be getting a sign from the universe that it is best to end the friendship.
Never shrink yourself to sustain a friendship. Letting go of such a friendship enables you to protect your identity and regain your power from the relationship that has been hurtful to you.
Your well-being and self-respect are greatly more important than attempting to create a bond that harms your identity.
How to Let Go Gently and Respectfully
Letting go should not be an overreaction. The best way to do this is to stop putting in all the effort, be less available to your friend, create distance, respond to your friend in a timely manner, and reinvest the energy into people who are not using you.
When having a conversation, keep it real, but be respectful. If there is a need to have a conversation, express your feelings without placing blame.
Ending a relationship is never easy, but having clear-cut reasons to end it makes healing easier. Letting go of someone in a mature manner causes less unnecessary pain for both parties and allows them to move forward in a respectful way.
You don’t have to justify your choice to end the relationship; protecting your own mental health is enough of a reason.
Healing After a Friendship Ends
Grief, guilt, and confusion are normal feelings after the end of a friendship. Friends become part of who you are, and without them, it can seem like losing part of your personal history.
Make time for yourself to recover from this loss, and remember to spend time with others who can help you heal, or try to reconnect with yourself by being alone.
Think about the lessons the friendship taught you, not only the great moments but also the difficult times. You will heal when you learn that all endings do not represent failure; they represent a new path.
The end of a friendship opens up an opportunity for better-fit relationships to enter your life. It is okay to let people go when their new versions are not compatible with our new selves.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.