You must have encountered at least one of those crazy stories about someone falling in love with a suspicious stranger online, only to end up broke and heartbroken?
I feel like romance scams are the new soap operas; they’ve got plenty of drama, deception, and people doing really stupid things.
From a Danish prince to a fake US soldier – scammers come in all shapes and disguises.
As for the victims, they often end up sending a bunch of money, their home address, pictures, and even personal identification to complete strangers online!
So, who are the people who fall for this stuff?!
1. Love and Loneliness
Clearly, people don’t fall for romance frauds simply because they’re gullible; often, they’re desperately craving connection.
When someone’s going through a tough period or feeling very lonely, their emotional denfenses tend to drop.
Scammers count on this vulnerability, pretending to be the ideal partner and filling the void left by the lack of real-life relationships.
The romance scammer becomes someone who cares and makes the victim feel special.
Being without that emotional fulfillment for too long can lead people to act carelessly. Plus, some scammers are master manipulators.
2. Ignoring Red Flags
Many of us are stuck somewhere between pity and itching to call these people out for being so naive.
I don’t think it’s “blaming the victim” to expect basic common sense from a grown-up person.
You’d think that if someone suddenly asks for money, everyone would take it as a giant red flag. But surprisingly, many victims don’t see it that way.
They’re often blinded by the fantasy of love, even though the scammers’ stories can become wildly inconsistent and their requests for cash more pressing.
Many of these romance fraud victims even overlook the fact that the scammer made a thousand excuses why they could never meet in person.
Sadly, this naivety and wishful thinking are exactly what allow the scammers to milk them for all they’re worth.
3. Media Literacy (and Lack Thereof)
One of the biggest issues is the lack of media literacy, both among young and old people.
You’d expect that a sixty-year-old person wouldn’t be able to recognize online scams as easily, simply because they haven’t spent that much time on the internet.
However, many romance fraud victims are also middle-aged or younger; some are still in their 20s!
They tend to trust too quickly, seemingly forgetting the fact that a fake online identity can be created in under ten minutes.
Social media and dating sites are a breeding ground for romance scams, but people often choose to ignore the warning signs because they want to believe in love.
Also, the scammers are like chameleons; they easily tailor their stories to fit what their victims want.
4. How Scammers Pick Their Victims
Romance scammers stalk their prey. They look for people who display certain traits: loneliness, a recent breakup, or even an age that suggests they might be more trusting.
And what better place to gather intel than social media? They pay close attention to what the victim posts, as well as their interests and vulnerabilities.
They may also target people who seem empathetic and eager to help a “struggling” person.
It’s a very calculated game. The profiles they use to reach their victims are often tailored to appeal to specific emotional needs.
Understanding how easy it is for people to stalk our online presence and use it against us is crucial. It can help people recognize these red flags early on.
5. The Most Popular Romance Scammers
Some of these stories are straight out of a soap opera. There’s the young woman who believed she was dating a Danish prince, only to get scammed out of thousands.
Or the person who thought they were dating a Nigerian royal and sent them huge amounts of money to help them “take back their throne,” ultimately falling for promises of future wealth and title.
Military romance scams are also popular, where someone claims to be a US soldier deployed abroad, and the victim falls for their “brave but lonely” persona.
From the outside looking in, these stories sound bonkers, but scammers craft these elaborate tales because they know people want to believe in love.
6. The Cost of Falling for a Scam
The emotional toll, as well as the financial, is huge when people fall for romance fraud.
Many victims reveal that they spent all of their savings or even went into debt while engaging with the scammer.
They end up embarrassed, having enormous trust issues to deal with after the whole thing is over.
The scammer’s promises of wealth and a future together are what keep victims hooked long after they should have seen the signs.
When the fraud is finally revealed, victims are left without any money, emotionally drained, and some of them even experience identity theft issues.
7. How Can We Protect Ourselves?
Just because a scammer isn’t around to slip their hand inside your pocket doesn’t mean they can’t rob you.
Our emotions and personal space need to be guarded much more carefully.
Impulsivity is another huge problem when it comes to romance fraud, because people allow themselves to get seduced and act on their first instinct.
However, if only they’d taken a few days to think it over, they’d probably realize that it all sounds way too fishy.
We must become more media literate, but we also need to look for holes in these outlandish stories.
More importantly, not all of these scammers stick to their online shtick. Some of them actively see and date their victims!
Verify identities, meet the family and friends, and allow your loved ones to take a good look at that perfect person you’re dating.
Scammers are typically in a rush to get you to become attached, so love-bombing is a huge sign to look out for!
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.