16 Spots Women Flat Out Refuse for a First Date

A list of the spots women absolutely refuse to go to for the first date came out – and went viral. 

Some people agree with it, while others see it as a huge red flag and a sign of hypergamy.

Of course, it’s not about the places themselves; it’s what those places represent that makes some women categorically refuse them.

Check it out for yourself and see if you agree. I must say I disagree with some of these, but a few made me squint, too.

1. Cheesecake Factory

Some women say that the Cheesecake Factory has a fancy cafeteria vibe, and that it’s far from the ideal choice for the first date.

The menu is endless, it’s crowded and loud, and this meetup, where you were supposed to get introduced and talk, just ends up being a struggle to hear anything the other person says.

It doesn’t feel intimate enough – seems to be the reason behind this rejection.

Personally, I don’t get it; I love pubs and loud restaurants, and the noise just makes you sit closer to your date!

But, yes, some people prefer the first date to be special, and they want to see effort and go somewhere with a more intimate atmosphere.

2. Chili’s, Applebee’s, Olive Garden…

These chain restaurants are too casual for some women – at least those who were interviewed for this list. 

Though they’re the usual choice for many guys, the girls see them as low-effort, cheap, and generic.

They want the first date that feels thoughtful and special (read: expensive). 

Pretty much, they want the man to show them that he’s very interested by spending more and putting in more effort, but… it’s the first date?

How would he even know if he’s that interested yet?

I must take the guys’ side here; I don’t go all out on first dates either.

Now, later on, when you get together, and it seems to be going somewhere, that’s when I’d expect dates to be special.

3. Fast Food Chains

Well, yeah. This one is pretty lazy.

Most women see this as the ultimate low-effort idea for a date, and they’re right. It’s a clear sign that a man put no thought or care into planning a date when he takes you to a fast-food place.

É far from romantic; people are shouting their orders, and little kids are making a mess of their happy meals.

I’d take it as a sign that a man doesn’t care one bit what I think of him if he took me to get fast food on the first date.

Later on – sure – but come on, you’re supposed to leave a good impression!

4. The Cinema

Going to the movies is a first date classic, but some women seem to be over it. 

The argument seems to be that it’s not intimate enough, and that you can’t really talk when you go to the movies, but I disagree.

You can comment on the movie, share popcorn, and hold hands if you want. Plus, if you feel comfortable enough to sit and watch a movie in silence with that person, that seems like a good sign.

And not to mention, once the movie’s done, you have a bunch of things to talk about right off the bat.

Anyway, some women like the idea of going to the cinema on the second date, but the first, they argue, should be all about the interaction.

5. Your House

Come on! This is a huge no! And I’d argue that women should just stop talking to any man who invites them to his place for the first date.

You’re being creepy and trying to skip some essential steps. It’s disrespectful and likely to make the woman feel inseguro.

The first date should always be in a public space, where both people feel secure and comfortable.

House invites should be reserved for someone you’ve already built a little trust with.

6. The Gym

I really don’t get gym dates in general, much less when I’m only just getting to know someone.

We can’t connect, and we can’t really exercise either; we’re failing at both the date and the gym!

Women say that it’s simply unromantic and not the kind of ambiance they expect on the first date. It’s not a social setting, and it’s not fun!

The gym lights are incómoda, the other people are training right beside you, you’re sweating…

The gym is just not the place for a first impression, no matter how heavy you can lift.

7. Church

I can’t speak for very religious people, but the church or any other place of worship seems like a very odd choice.

And the women who created this list agree.

A date inside a church or during a mass seems like an incómoda experience, and honestly, it’s kind of inappropriate.

The church is a sacred place, reserved for connecting with God.

Suggesting the church as the first date spot seems pushy and strange.

It sounds like a good idea to keep your spiritual life separate from your dating life, at least until you’re serious with someone.

8. Starbucks and Coffee Dates

Everyone loves Starbucks, but we’re not in high school. 

Women want a place where they can actually connect, not just grab the coffee and run. Somewhere more cozy, where you can talk and have coffee in peace, sounds like a much better choice.

Now, this list also suggests that coffee dates in general are out of the question.

I disagree, but I can see where these women are coming from. 

É very casual, and it’s likely a great idea for another time, but the first date should be somewhat special.

This kind of date will not leave a lasting impression, they argue.

9. Bars for Just Drinks

Some women claim that bars are too ambiguous and loud, and that they can’t possibly make for a meaningful first date.

I wholly disagree. Bars have this potent energy; the crowd is exciting, and you can have a few drinks and talk until very, very late in the night.

It’s the perfect spot to connect with someone you like!

These ladies also suggest that they can’t tell if a guy realmente likes them if he only wants to go to a bar, but… How?

Having some cocktails and having dinner are really one and the same if you ask me.

Now, for people who are a bit more introverted, I get it. All the noise and the strangers might ruin the date for them.

10. Ice Cream Dates

Some women say that these dates are too casual, and even juvenile, for the first date.

It feels like hanging out with a friend more than meeting someone you’re hoping to get with.

Sure, it’s playful and lighthearted, but taking a long walk while having ice cream sounds nice to me, though it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

Many people want something that feels a bit more grown-up and special; they want the other person to show some real effort.

I get it, but here’s how I see it: If you really can’t connect with someone while having ice cream, you won’t be able to connect at a fancy dinner either.

It’s the person, not the activity.

11. Family Functions

Involving family in a first date (and second, and third, and fourth…) is a hard pass for most women.

It’s just too soon! You should be getting to know each other, not turning the whole thing into a family affair.

It’s uncomfortable and overwhelming, and puts a lot of pressure on everyone.

It also makes you come off as a bit desperate; why are you so eager for this woman you barely know to meet your family?

Keeping things simple and low-pressure is the best course of action at first. Once you feel like the relationship could go somewhere and be serious, then you can involve family.

First dates are just for you two.

12. Anywhere That Requires a Long Drive

I’m of the opinion that first dates should be equal parts special and convenient.

Driving for miles to some special spot is way too much for someone you barely know. On the other hand, if you’re driving together there, most women would be wary of this idea.

Being in a car with someone you don’t know well and being driven far from home sounds like playing with fire.

Guys make themselves look suspicious by suggesting this.

Out of simple self-preservation, women prefer local, accessible spots where they can leave easily if things get weird.

13. Bowling

Well, this one really comes down to personal preference. I don’t mind easy-going first dates, but bowling, or pool, or darts are really not my thing.

If you know that your date really likes bowling, then it makes sense.

Otherwise, I agree that it’s not the best solution for the first date – it makes the date, and the other person, feel like a second thought.

It’s more like a hangout, and likely best left for some other time.

It is quite low-effort, which is why many women reject it.

14. Nightclubs

This one also comes down to personal preference. For most women – me included – nightclubs are synonymous with fun outings with friends.

They’re for vibing, dancing, and taking drunk selfies. They’re not romantic, and especially not for the first date.

You’re pushing through crowds, and you can’t hear anything. Plus, you’re with a new person there – would you really feel comfortable enough to let go and dance?

It’s best to pick someplace more intimate where you can sit down and focus on each other.

15. Swimming

You can’t really ask a woman to go swimming on the first date without coming off as a creep.

It’s way too personal and exposing, and you’re letting her know that you’re looking for just one thing and that you’re not willing to be patient about it.

First dates are meant to help people become comfortable with each other, and it’s a step you can’t skip.

It’s not the right environment, and you’re making an awful first impression by suggesting it.

16. Hookah Bars and Sports Events

Not to generalize, but I feel like all women collectively think that this is an awful idea for the first date.

Hookah bars are very specific, and I’m not sure why they were included in the list, but yeah, they’re dimmed and filled with smoke. 

And where do I begin with sports events?!

Sure, there are plenty of women who enjoy watching sports, but to be honest, it seems like you just wanted to watch a game, so you decided to drag your date along.

Women want to feel seen and to be able to focus on their date. I’m afraid that’s not possible when you’re in the middle of an angry, loud crowd.