While our minds can sometimes lie in order to shield our ego or feelings, our bodies are instinctually honest.
Sometimes, our physical reactions reveal whether we’re truly cherished or just tolerated.
When you’re genuinely chosen, your whole self relaxes into the relationship. However, if you’re tolerated, your muscles stay tense, and you might feel like you’re just managing.
Listening to your body can help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface.
1. Your Body Softens When You’re Truly Chosen
When someone truly chooses you, your body naturally softens without even trying. You might notice a relaxed jaw e open shoulders.
Your breath also tends to be calmer around someone who makes you feel wanted, and not just tolerated.
Instead of holding tension, your muscles relax, and your posture becomes more welcoming. This is an automatic response to feeling genuinely accepted.
Your body recognizes that it’s safe, and responds by letting go of the tension.
If you notice yourself unconsciously letting go around your partner, your relationship is built on mutual care.
2. Tension Persists When You’re Merely Tolerated
If your partner tolerates you, your body notices, and stays braced, even on the good days.
You might catch yourself holding your breath or crossing your arms around them.
Your nervous system notices a threat, even if it’s subtle, and your muscles stay in a protective mode.
That tension isn’t always obvious, but it’s there, silently warning you that the situation isn’t ideal.
You might also find yourself constantly adjusting, trying to earn approval.
That inner tension becomes a habit, and it’s a sign that you’re in a relationship where you’re not fully appreciated.
3. Mutuality Brings Closeness
When you’re truly chosen, honesty feels natural and brings you closer. You don’t feel the need to compare who does more or who cares more.
The relationship just flows because no one tolerates anyone – you both genuinely care.
Your partner’s words and actions align with how your body feels: open, supported, connected.
When you’re loved genuinely, you don’t feel the pressure to perform. Your body responds with a sense of ease, and you can be yourself without fear of judgment.
Your whole being relaxed into the trust that you’re truly loved.
4. Being Put Up With Leads to Managing and Comparing
If you’re only tolerated, honesty often triggers withdrawal and tension.
Instead of feeling safe enough to be vulnerable, you shrink into yourself. You start managing your words, actions, and even your feelings while trying to keep things afloat.
Comparison sneaks in – who does more and who’s more invested?
Your nervous system is on high alert, trying to see if you’re good enough or if you need to do better.
This constant managing takes a toll, making you feel small and unseen.
It’s your body signaling that it’s exhausted by trying to keep up the act.
5. Honesty Connects You
When your partner truly chooses you, sharing your feelings, fears, and frustrations doesn’t create a rift. Instead, it deepens your connection.
Your body feels relaxed during these exchanges, feeling supported rather than judged.
You sense your partner’s genuine interest and care, which calms your nervous system.
On the flip side, if you’re tolerated, honesty often leads to issues. You might find yourself enduring stuff just to avoid conflict.
Your body tightens up, and heart-to-heart conversations become incómoda ou mesmo scary.
It’s a clear sign that you’re lacking safety, and the relationship feels fragile beneath the surface.
6. Feeling Cherished vs. Being Loved Conditionally
When you’re loved and chosen, your body feels held and safe. You experience a sense of being enough just as you are.
There’s a gentle feeling of being cared for, which you feel deep down.
You don’t have to prove anything or beg for attention – it’s given freely.
But if you’re tolerated, love feels conditional. You pick up on the subtle cues that you’re only loved if you perform and meet certain expectations.
It might feel like walking on eggshells, trying to avoid disappointment.
Conditional love creates a sense of insecurity, and your nervous system remains on alert.
7. Steady Comfort vs. Drama
Being chosen in your relationship feels peaceful and comfortable. You feel a sense of safety that doesn’t rely on constant effort or performance.
Your body naturally relaxes into the relationship because you feel that it’s okay to be exactly who you are.
There’s no need to overthink or manage your interactions; you simply feel at home.
On the other hand, being tolerated often feels like a lot of work.
You’re constantly trying to prove your worth and avoid conflict. You sense that safety comes from performing rather than being.
Sooner or later, this makes you long for the simplicity of being truly loved and accepted.
8. Your Nervous System Knows It First
Your body and nervous system are incredibly intuitive. They sense the truth long before your mind catches on.
When you’re chosen, your body feels “expansive.” You feel surrounded by warmth and calm.
But if you’re just tolerated, your nervous system stays guarded, even if you’re trying to convince yourself that everything’s okay.
Shallow breathing, a tight chest, and unconsciously clenched fists are all signs that safety isn’t fully there.
Paying closer attention to these signals helps you gain clarity, and decide whether your relationship nurtures you or drains your energy.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.