Control in a relationship does not always have to be physical or psychological; sometimes, it is in the quiet actions, unsaid words, and looks that make you question your decisions.
There are several personality types that are simply way more controlling than others, and being in a relationship with them may be quite tricky. Here are the six most prominent ones.
1. The “Everything Must Be My Way” Perfectionist
This kind of person hides their control behind rules and high standards. They say they just “like things done right,” but what they really want is to be in charge and know exactly what’s going to happen.
They might tell you how to fold towels, manage your day, or even say the right thing when in a relationship. You will notice that they are not particularly mean but rather worried about losing control. They seek order because they are afraid of making mistakes or being let down.
At first, their discipline looks wonderful, but with time, it takes away the spontaneity of love. They don’t yell very much; instead, they micromanage. Setting objectives early on and reminding them that happiness and perfection don’t usually go together is the best approach to dealing with them.
2. The Guilt-Tripping Empath
This kind of person looks to be selfless forever, but then you find that their goodness comes with hidden ties. Instead of being aggressive, they use guilt to control you, which makes you feel bad for having your own needs.
If you make a choice that doesn’t include them, they can sigh or say, “I guess it’s fine,” which means you have to deal with their feelings sooner or later. They act like victims, which makes you feel like you have to take the blame. It’s love that manipulates your emotions.
They want to be validated via sacrifice, but when it’s not balanced, it becomes a tool for power. The answer is emotional clarity: learning to understand the difference between compassion and control and not being sorry for being free.
3. The Charmer With an Agenda
At first, they’re magnetic: confident, interested, and very romantic. You feel like you’ve been selected, loved, and very lucky. But over time, the charm becomes persuasiveness.
They start “suggesting” who you need to go out with, what you should buy, or how you should act, and they always sound like they care. They say nice things about you, but they also say things like, “I just think you’re better when you don’t go out with them,” or “I love it when you act like this.”
Usually, they use love as a weapon. Their control seems like love because it’s so charming. The most important thing is to see when “protective” becomes possessive. It’s not chemistry if you feel smaller around them; it’s control.
4. The Silent Punisher
People like this don’t yell or fight; they just fade away emotionally when things don’t go their way. They use their silence as a weapon. They might not talk to you for days or stop showing you love until you “fix” what made them mad.
You say you’re sorry to keep the peace, even though you didn’t do anything wrong. This makes you feel emotionally weak, which makes you walk on eggshells. The silent punisher loves to see you suffer because they think that not giving you love will teach you a lesson.
The only way to break this pattern is to stop looking for validation. When you don’t need their attention to feel good about yourself, it loses its power.
5. The “I Know What’s Best for You” Savior
They start out as the perfect partner: caring, smart, and protective. But soon you discover that they are making choices for you “because they care.” They criticize your friends, your objectives, and even your dreams, saying it’s to help you.
The truth is, they don’t think of you as an equal; they think of you as a project. Their control feels soft and even noble, but it is still control. They do well when you rely on them for guidance or approval.
They’re not afraid of losing you; they’re afraid of losing the position of savior. You must take back your independence without feeling bad about it in order to deal with them. You don’t need to be saved; you need room to flourish.
6. The Emotional Rollercoaster
You never know how this person feels because one day they are full of affection, and the next they are cold or distant. The highs are so good that you can’t get enough of them, and the lows make you want to connect with others.
This lack of predictability makes people dependent on their emotions. To feel balanced again, you start to want their approval. They might not know it, but they’re using inconsistency to control and condition you.
This type of control is the most harmful since it seems like passion at first. You never know where you stand, and that’s how they keep their control. Their power fades as soon as you stop attempting to figure out how they feel. Love doesn’t need turmoil to be real.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.