Many women might think they are unlucky in love because their search for a good man always ends in desilusão. They become sad, feeling unwanted, and almost desperate.
This is a stage when many women start making mistakes and dig a deeper hole for themselves.
These mistakes can be prevented when we become aware of them and actively work on our healing process.
1. Ignoring Red Flags Because of Potential
One of the most common mistakes women make is getting attached to what a man “could” be rather than who he “is.” Women are attracted to what he potentially could do rather than what he consistently does.
If we step back spiritually, we call that hope: the belief that love can heal him or change him. But real love is never about healing or fixing; it’s about the potential for two people to grow together.
If you are always ignoring these patterns that do not work for you or are misaligned with your values and worth, you are essentially teaching the universe and this man that you are willing to settle for less than you deserve.
The right partner does not need you to imagine his greatness; he lives it and proves it (from the start). Seeing clearly and choosing in truth, not imagination, creates space for true love.
2. Confusing Chemistry With Compatibility
Intense attraction may feel like fate or destiny, but it blinds women to deeper incompatibilities. The mistake occurs when we confuse excitement with emotional safety.
Chemistry is powerful, but compatibility sustains love. Spiritually, passion may burn fiercely, but it withers when it starts spiraling out of balance. A genuinely good man provides calmness before he provides a butterfly effect.
If every relationship is a storm, you may be valuing temporary excitement more than a calmer connection. Love lasts when your nervous system feels safe, not anxious.
When you value stability over chaos, you will attract a loving partner that matches you in your healed energy and not in your wounded energy.
3. Settling Out of Fear of Being Alone
Having a fear of being alone, many women remain in sad situations or lower their standards. That fear creates energetic blocks and prevents real love from coming into their life.
Spiritually, the universe is always a reaction to your beliefs: if you accept less, it will assume you don’t want more. A good man (partner) does not manifest through settling; he arrives when you value yourself.
Being single is not about being punished; it is preparation. It is a time to strengthen your energy, clarify what you need, and believe that being alone will attract your alignment.
When you become comfortable in your own energy and stop “chasing” love, that is when love starts chasing you.
4. Overgiving Without Receiving
Women who are always giving often get emotionally burnt out. They confuse selflessness with love and lose sight of the fact that all relationships are about balance between two partners.
From a spiritual perspective, overgiving can demonstrate that you are engaging in love with the belief that you must earn love and affection. Healthy men prefer reciprocity vs. perfectionism and continuous giving.
Overgiving creates an imbalance between giver and taker, which can lead to an unsustainable relationship and problematic power dynamics. Healthy love is reciprocal and should be between two people pouring into each other, rather than one constantly proving their worth to another.
When you are overgiving, you are draining yourself, but when you are giving less and receiving with grace, you have relationships honored in equality, not exhaustion.
5. Ignoring Inner Healing Before Dating
Women often pursue love without the healing of some old wounds, such as heartbreak, abandonment, or self-doubt. Although these unhealed parts do not shout their presence, they softly influence our decisions and attract partners who are emotionally unavailable.
Energetically speaking, who we are is what we attract. Until you make the decision to heal, you will continue to attract lessons, not partners.
Committing to the inner work of healing, whether through self-reflection, therapy, or self-forgiveness, will improve your energy and enable you to stop seeking validation and begin emitting wholeness.
A good man cannot complete you; he can only meet you where you already are. Healing becomes a priority, love stops being a survival experience, and it turns into a peaceful experience.
6. Believing Good Men Don’t Exist
One of the most limiting mistakes is to think that all the good men are gone. This way of thinking closes an energetic door before love can come in the door.
Spiritually speaking, doubt repels what faith attracts. If you tell yourself that men can’t be trusted, the universe is going to prove that very true for you.
There are good men in the world who are good-hearted, loyal, and emotionally mature, but if you cannot believe they exist, you will not meet them. Change your story, and your experience changes.
A healthy relationship starts with hope, rather than cynicism. When you approach love with an open heart instead of a bitter one, you become a magnet for people who are going to prove the trust you desire as true.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.