Coolness is not just about how popular someone is or how they look, but it is really about how a person makes others feel.
Those who have that “cool” factor are often at ease with themselves and do not need to force attention onto themselves; rather, the “cool” person draws people in with their energy, which is relaxed and confident.
The attributes of a cool person are often misunderstood because they are too subtle to be noticed. To be considered cool does not require changing one’s personality, only their behaviors and mindset.
Understanding how others view someone as being “cool” will allow one to be more confident without having to change and be someone else.
1. They Are Comfortable Being Themselves
Many people believe that confidence comes from being cool. True confidence comes from self-assurance without needing to validate or justify that self-assurance.
Confident people know who they are, and they don’t have to justify themselves to anyone else. Those people have an easygoing manner about them because they don’t feel the need to impress anyone.
People feel comfortable around confident individuals because there is no pressure to perform in any way. Although they aren’t perfect, they are true and thus trustworthy.
When someone is at peace with themselves, that sense of peace radiates out from them to all those around them and is attractive and refreshing.
2. They Don’t Try Too Hard to Impress
Cool people allow conversation to flow; they don’t work too hard at it! Here’s a great example of how cool people interact. They are comfortable with silences when speaking with others and relax instead of acting anxious when no one speaks.
A cool person doesn’t try and create drama; their stories are true and not over-dramatized, which gives them a genuine feel that makes them more appealing to those they’re talking with.
With their calm demeanor, cool people attract people because they are happy within themselves and do not need validation from others to feel good about themselves.
The appeal of a cool person is based on a lack of effort from the individual, thus creating an easy attraction toward them.
3. They Listen More Than They Speak
By learning how to be a good listener, you are showing other people that you care about them as individuals and that you value what they have to say.
Listening helps people feel respected and creates a bond between you and the person you are talking to by fostering trust. Listening well also helps you to connect with other people emotionally, which creates a positive atmosphere for future conversation.
Working on being a good listener is a great way to build your reputation, gain authority, and ultimately make an impact on your community.
4. They Stay Calm Under Pressure
Cool, calm people are less likely to be stressed out. They will probably not react strongly, nor will they make the situation worse. People around you feel safe when you are relaxed.
Being able to maintain a relaxed state is an indicator of maturity and being emotionally stable. Being calm does not mean you should not show emotion.
Responding to a stressful incident with thoughtfulness will produce a greater level of trust among the people around you.
People tend to follow calm people when they are confronted with a stressful situation. When someone responds with grace under pressure, they are respected more by their peers.
5. They Have Clear Boundaries
Having clear boundaries is a sign of self-respect. People who have boundaries know what they want and don’t want, politely decline offers with no guilt or aggression, and are able to make connections with others easier because everyone is aware of where they stand.
Boundaries allow a person to prevent feelings of resentment or the need to express drama. In addition, when someone respects themselves, they naturally attract other people who will respect them as well.
The confidence that a person has developed through the creation of their own boundaries does not lead to a sense of superiority over others, as this balance creates strength and attraction.
6. They Let Others Be Themselves
The coolest people are non-judgmental and don’t put other people on the spot. They allow other people to relax and be themselves.
‘Cool’ people don’t correct, ridicule, or control the conversations; due to the acceptance these individuals provide, the people around them are comfortable and feel free.
This acceptance creates an openness and a stronger social presence than anything else.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.