We’re all girl’s girls in public, but do we actually act that way behind closed doors?
The real test of your loyalty happens when you’re alone with your man.
Way too many women casually overshare about their friends, using their deepest secrets as small talk. Even worse, some air their friends’ dirty laundry to make themselves look more appealing.
I won’t sugarcoat it: that’s pick me behavior.
Here are 7 things you should never tell your boyfriend about your friends!
1. Their Past Mistakes
Everyone has a past, and we’ve all done things we desperately wish we could take back.
It’s those dumb mistakes you remember late at night that make you cringe at yourself. Only a couple of really close people get to hear about these failures.
How would you feel if someone went on to share your embarrassing past with someone you barely know?
If your friend has a past she’s genuinely not proud of, it’s your holy duty to keep it to yourself.
你 sabotage her character in front of your boyfriend when you reveal these things!
He doesn’t know the nuances of her personality as you do, and will draw conclusions about who she is based on these mistakes.
Protect your friends’ past like you would want them to protect yours.
2. Their Personal Flaws
The pick me instinct is strong; no one denies that. It can be very tempting to subtly compare yourself to other women so your boyfriend can see how much better you are.
But… Is it worth betraying your friends?
Even if you want to draw this kind of comparison, you don’t do it with your girlfriends!
Whatever their flaws might be, you still like them and want them in your life, so why would you throw them under the bus like that?
Your friends’ imperfections aren’t a stepping stone to elevate yourself in front of your boyfriend. That’s a tacky, cruel betrayal.
He might like that you don’t share the exact same flaws as your friends, but he sure won’t like how 不安全 和 untrustworthy you make yourself look.
3. Their Secrets
The personal things your friends share with you are not “tea.”
You can’t use their shame and insecurities to entertain your boyfriend on a random Tuesday night.
Secrets weigh heavily on us, but there are only so many people we’re comfortable with knowing them. That’s why we open up to friends.
Spilling these secrets to your partner because you can’t think of any other topic is a massive violation of trust.
He doesn’t need to know her private secrets, and truth be told, he probably doesn’t care that much to begin with.
You’re someone’s safe person. Don’t take that for granted.
4. Their Private Affairs
Your friends’ personal choices, casual hook-ups, and family drama are none of your boyfriend’s business.
He’s part of your life, not hers. Her personal affairs shouldn’t be shared with anyone outside the trusted circle.
If she wants to share details about her Tinder date with people other than you, she’ll do so herself.
It’s simply inappropriate to act as a spokesperson for her private life, and without her consent. It’s a violation of boundaries.
5. Their Opinions About Your Boyfriend
We ask our friends’ opinions about new partners for a good reason. They’re able to notice red flags and weird behavior that we might have missed because of infatuation.
But it comes with a rule: You can’t go and rattle out their opinions to your boyfriend!
If you must say something, give him the generic, “She really likes you,” and leave it at that. Keep the rest strictly to yourself.
Saying too much could cost you your friendship or relationship, or both.
If her opinions aren’t favorable, your boyfriend might have a problem with you two being friends. He’ll feel hurt and won’t trust her to be around you.
You asked for her perspective for your own sake; he doesn’t need to know.
6. The Relationship Advice They Gave You
Saying, “Well, Stacy said you gaslight me and that I should confront you about it,” cannot and will not get you anywhere.
Bringing up your friend’s advice during a fight is simply an awful idea.
She’s not part of the conversation, and it’s not okay to throw her under the bus just because you’re afraid to say exactly what you think.
The advice your friends give you during difficult times in your relationship is for your ears only.
Fights come and go; you two will make up, and then your friend won’t be able to stay in your life.
Your boyfriend might feel like she’s sabotaging your relationship and turning you against him, so they can’t possibly coexist.
Hear her out, apply the advice if it makes sense, and forget it if it doesn’t. But for the love of God, don’t tell him about it!
7. When You’re Really Angry with Them
It’s natural to disagree with your loved ones. You can’t always see eye to eye, and at times, they do things that just rile you up.
But you know what you shouldn’t do? Go to your boyfriend and trash your friend behind her back!
Again, he doesn’t know her as well as you do, and everything you say shapes how he sees her.
You’ll calm down and forgive each other, but he will continue to question your friendship because of everything you said about her.
And this doesn’t only paint her in a negative light! You’ll make yourself look fickle and dishonest.
Vent in your journal or to a mutual friend, or hell, say it all to her face! But don’t sabotage her character.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.