There is pressure to attain certain milestones by age 30. Society views the purchase of homes and cars as signs of success; however, this view is not aligned with the reality that people’s financial situations today are not consistent.
Each person will have different experiences and values and how he or she will define success.
Therefore, the perception of success today is different than it was before, which helps eliminate feelings of shame and comparison.
1. Social Expectations Are Outdated
Decades ago, many people had expectations because costs were lower and things were easier. Today’s economy is different; the cost of housing and transportation has increased.
Stress is caused by comparing yourself to another person’s expectation created using an older standard. There is no longer a timeline for people’s lives, so if you adjust your expectations, you will improve your mental health.
Progress should be viewed as personal instead of being viewed as something that can be counted by age or any other measurement.
2. Financial Reality Has Changed
Financial awareness is more important than accumulating debt and assets.
Although ownership is associated with stability, many responsible adults postpone purchasing a home because of increased living costs and/or debt obligations.
Utilizing shared resources through renting or other means may be a better option for some adults.
3. Success Is More Than Possessions
Your possessions do not determine your character, growth, or happiness. Your emotional health, relationships, skills, and freedom also define you.
While some prefer flexibility rather than ownership, success can be defined as peace of mind.
By focusing on tangible items as the measure of our success, we lose out on the peace of mind that true fulfillment brings.
4. Personal Goals Matter More Than Timelines
Some people choose to travel, get an education, change jobs, etc., and so they may miss out on some ownership, while others gain that.
Life is not always a race; therefore, following your own goals makes you more than just satisfied; it also gives you peace. However, following someone else’s timeline might create regrets.
We should respect our own individual journeys and embrace being intentional rather than rushing through life.
5. Comparison Creates False Failure
Comparing yourself with others ignores context: behind each achievement, there are debts, stress, and support systems.
Social comparisons make success appear larger than it is, while they downplay the struggles that accompany success.
In addition, by measuring yourself against others, you are creating unnecessary self-pressure. Your own self-evaluation should be based on YOUR own internal experience. Growth is different for everyone else!
6. You Are Not Behind, You Are Different
Being different doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It is possible and pretty normal today to find success later or in an unexpected way. Life unfolds in a unique way for each of us.
Flexibility gives rise to resilience, and there is no linear path to progress. Self-worth has no basis in material possessions; you should be allowed to construct your own life at your own pace.
Meaning is found in alignment with yourself, NOT in inflexible deadlines.
7. Life Stability Looks Different for Everyone
The definition of stability varies by person. While some associate stability with ownership, others define it in terms of flexibility, low-stress environments, or the ability to make choices.
Therefore, a person may be considered “stable” if they rent their home, use public transportation, or share resources with friends and family; what really counts is the individual feeling safe and supported.
Many individuals establish their financial and emotional stability well before they own a house or car.
8. Why Positive Mindset Is Important
Stability generally arises from the establishment of a healthy habit and cultivating meaningful relationships, while emotional and financial aspects can be shaped through a positive mindset regarding our possibilities for growth.
Using only one definition of stability to determine success excludes the many ways in which we are able to progress, allowing each of us to define our own sense of security based on our personal experiences rather than what society expects of us.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.