It can be exhausting to take care of someone who is not mature enough to take care of himself, and that is where the man-child comes in.
While he might be fun at first because of his carefree nature, in the long run, the imbalance will eventually become tiring.
Not only do you end up taking on all the responsibility for the relationship, including planning and dealing with the consequences of his actions, but eventually it will begin to feel more like you’re a parent to him rather than a partner.
了解 what to look for when a man-child is in your life enables you to help protect your own peace of mind and clearly identify what needs to be changed.
1. He Avoids Responsibility and Leaves Everything to You
If a manchild keeps putting off his own duties, a big red flag is that he expects you to take care of everything, including chores, bills, and running the house.
He may forget about important things, make excuses as to why he couldn’t do them (such as “I suck at adulting”), or neglect to show any responsibility for the things that need to be done.
This means he is placing an unfair burden on you, so there is an unequal dynamic, and you are now playing the role of a parent. You will start feeling like you are carrying all the mental and physical effort and will begin to feel tired, resentful, and overwhelmed.
An adult partner would step in without having to be asked repeatedly. If he refuses to help or is confused by something as simple as a chore, it indicates he has not learned how to be an equal partner.
2. He Acts Like the World Revolves Around His Needs
A manchild usually thinks that everything revolves around him. A manchild gets angry or has fits of rage when he doesn’t get what he wants. He doesn’t understand that other people have needs, too.
He doesn’t know or care about how he affects other people’s lives. A manchild interrupts you while you’re trying to speak, doesn’t listen when you give him your opinion, and doesn’t care about your feelings.
Eventually, when you are no longer seen, and you want to leave, a manchild will say, “I never saw it coming.” A mature partner is aware of the people around him (his partner, friends, and family) and considers their needs.
When a manchild expects you to adapt to him at all times, he is still thinking like a kid, not your partner.
3. He Struggles With Emotional Regulation
He often has childish reactions, such as sulking or pouting, instead of responding in a mature way to a problem. He may even shut down and ignore the problem altogether.
Also, he may not want to communicate calmly about difficult situations. The smallest argument might provoke him to have a huge reaction and cause him to be passive-aggressive or change moods quickly.
You may feel like you have to tiptoe around him to avoid provoking an emotional outburst. Adults learn how to handle their own feelings, while manchildren depend on others to soothe them, comfort them, or fix the problems for them.
4. He Treats Hobbies and Fun as More Important Than Real Life
You will see that he puts games, sports, and hobbies before everything else important all the time. He prefers to escape into entertainment instead of focusing on work, helping around the house, or being supportive of you.
He may play video games for hours, click away on his phone, or be with friends to the point that he does not consider your needs. Fun is an escape from being an adult for him, and he tends to ignore when things require something from him.
A mature partner can balance pleasure and the responsibilities of a partner. Someone who chooses to have fun above all else will lack both emotional maturity and discipline.
5. He Relies on You for Basic Life Skills
A manchild relies on their spouse for basic life skills that an adult should have already learned how to do and have the ability to do for themselves.
Typically, this manchild may expect you to remind him of deadlines, set up his calendar, book appointments, etc. He will often play the helpless victim to avoid personal accountability by saying, “I don’t know how” or “You do that better than I do.”
This creates an unhealthy relationship where the woman feels more like the child’s manager than the true love of their life. Independence is a vital part of being considered an adult.
A mature, responsible adult has developed skills on his own and will take the initiative to learn to do those skills. When a manchild refuses to learn or continually pushes everything onto his spouse to do for him, it demonstrates that he has not developed the necessary self-sufficiency required to be in a healthy, stable relationship.
6. He Avoids Serious Conversations About the Future
A manchild will usually avoid discussing long-term plans, responsibilities, and goals. For example, if you mention financial planning, family planning, future commitments, and personal growth, he may shut you down, joke about it, or change the subject.
Manchildren would rather live in the moment because thinking ahead means having maturity and personal responsibility. Because of this lack of foresight, you have no idea what the relationship is going to be like in the future.
A mature partner recognizes that planning for the future is very important and does this by discussing the future openly with you.
When someone refuses to even talk about any of these things, it demonstrates that he is not emotionally prepared for true adulthood.
The inability to have conversations regarding the future will create a sense of emotional distance, making it very difficult to create a solid foundation for your life together.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.