I’m sure there’s no need to explain what a “nice guy” persona is when it’s one of the most memed things on the internet.
Spotting a nice guy isn’t always obvious at first glance, and you might even find yourself genuinely buying into his niceness.
But trust me, once you know what to look for, those signs become pretty clear.
Here are 9 ways to tell he’s just pretending.
1. He’s Doing Too Much Too Soon
If he’s overly eager to please you when you haven’t actually established any kind of relationship, that’s a bad sign.
He opens doors, showers you with compliments, acts like you’re old friends, meanwhile, he’s the guy you accidentally met just the other day.
While kindness and gentlemanly behavior are great, you can tell when it’s performative – like he’s trying to buy your affection right off the bat.
It’s often just a trap.
He’s craving validation, and thinks that acting this way will let him get something from you.
这是 far from authentic, and you’ll see the signs as long as you pay attention.
2. He Plays a Victim When Things Don’t Go His Way
Nice guys are usually quick to get passive-aggressive the moment you refuse to do what they want.
Maybe he’s expecting a certain response – like attention, a date, or a hug – and when it doesn’t happen, suddenly he’s a misunderstood, kind fool, and you’re a succubus.
Instead of accepting reality, and maybe realizing that his expectations weren’t realistic to begin with, he sulks and plays the victim.
This kind of behavior is perhaps the clearest sign that he’s a nice guy.
They have the tendency to build a fantasy in their heads, and when the reality doesn’t match up, it’s everyone else’s fault but theirs.
It’s a manipulative attempt to keep control and feed their ego.
3. He Expects Constant Validation
One of the clearest signs is his desire to get acknowledged for his niceness.
This type of man tends to consider basic decency as a favor he’s doing for you, and that’s why he might expect gratitude and validation around the clock.
And if you fail to give him recognition – make no mistake, you’ll have a guilt-trip coming your way.
Many of them don’t seem to understand that genuine kindness isn’t about getting a trophy, but about feeling good about yourself for being kind.
This unspoken expectation of praise is one of the signs to look out for!
4. He Feels Entitled to Your Attention
Impatience is one of the first signs you’ll need to look for.
It’s not a strong suit of most nice guys, so they’re known for getting irritated or passive-aggressive if they don’t get a text back as soon as they expected.
He feels entitled to your attention and time because “he’s so good to you!”
And this really isn’t about genuine interest; it’s about him trying to establish control over you early on.
He expects to be a priority because, in his mind, being nice means you owe him affection, regardless of how you might feel.
5. He Shows His True Colors When He’s Rejected
Here’s the ultimate sign – the moment when the mask finally slips.
His nice behavior is nothing more than a front. When he doesn’t get the contact info, the date, or the attention, that’s when his true personality comes to the surface.
He might become cold, dismissive, or passive-aggressive.
That’s why his only goal was to get something from you, and the “niceness” was just a tool 来得到它。
When his performance isn’t rewarded, he’s quick to reveal his entitlement.
6. He’s Trying to “Win” You Over
Nice guys look at dating as a competition in which they get to win you over and get the prize.
He’ll go above and beyond. He might shower you with compliments, do favors, or act overly attentive, but none of those are usually authentic.
They’re just a part of his tactic, and not an actual expression of how he feels about you.
When you can’t tell if his actions are genuine or performative, that’s another sign to note.
The whole thing isn’t about his feelings for you, but about securing his ego.
7. He’s Always There – Until He Isn’t
Nice guys love to be your hero. They’re quick to offer help, a shoulder to cry on, or just make themselves available.
However, the moment you don’t need or he perceives that you might not like him that way, he becomes cold.
And sadly, many of them don’t just give up and disappear; they become 被动攻击，甚至是 无礼 in some instances.
This is a clear sign that his niceness was just a ploy to get validation. When the reward isn’t there, he checks out.
It’s a classic case of doing something for their own ego; it was never about you or your friendship.
8. He Talks Badly About Other Men or Women
A subtle but telling sign is that he often talks smack about other men and women.
You know the one – other guys are so shallow compared to him, and all those other girls are nothing compared to you.
This reveals his 不安全感 and deep-seated need to be seen as better or more deserving.
It’s a sad defensive tactic; he needs to put others down in order to elevate himself.
It’s a clear sign of someone craving validation, thinking they’re entitled to your attention, and insecure about their own worth.
9. He’s Actually Very Self-Centered
Ultimately, his actions are only about him. The nice guy syndrome is rooted in self-centeredness.
This is a clear sign, because genuine kindness seeks no applause or recognition. It’s empathetic and feels natural to a person who’s actually kind.
But a nice guy’s idea of being good to others is about making himself look better or feeling superior.
It all revolves around what he wants, needs, and his ego.
Real niceness isn’t performative, and it doesn’t come with hidden agendas.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.