Everyone loves compliments, but men and women can sometimes have a different idea of what a good, genuine compliment sounds like.
What sounds totally sweet to a guy can come off very different to a woman, and vice versa. And it’s not about being difficult or picky, but about understanding how words land.
Some of these “compliments” might seem harmless and nice, but they can actually feel pretty dismissive, or even degrading!
Women have evolved to look for the signs of trouble when it comes to men, so forgive us if we tend to overthink your words even when you mean nothing bad by them!
So, here’s a breakdown of 10 common compliments men toss around, and how girls really see them.
1. You’re Not Like Other Women
When a guy says, “You’re not like other women,” he often means it as a real compliment, but it’s really not.
To a woman’s ears, you’re implying that most women are somehow inferior or less worthy, and that can feel pretty degrading.
Moreover, men typically say this to women they don’t know that well, which means she might as well be the same as every other woman. How would you know?
This comment downplays what it means to be a woman, and none of us appreciates it.
Also, people like to be complimented for who they are.
It feels like you had to drag down a whole gender in order to say something positive about her, and honestly, that’s pretty icky.
It’s a subtle insult, wrapped in praise.
2. You’re So Easy to Talk To
Saying, “You’re easy to talk to,” might sound harmless, but women often hear it differently.
To them, it means you don’t see them as challenging enough, or like they don’t come off as very deep or interesting.
It’s like saying they’re simple – nothing too complex or exciting about them.
Women want meaningful conversations, not being seen as someone who just nods along. When you say this, it can feel like you’re dismissing their intelligence.
That’s why this compliment is so disappointing to women.
They’re not here to be your easy escape, and they want to be seen as fun and stimulating.
3. I Like That You’re So Chill!
Telling a woman, “I like that you’re so chill,” might sound like a compliment, but it raises red flags!
A woman might wonder what happened in your past relationship that made the other woman lose her chill.
Was she too emotional, or did you do something to make her angry? Or maybe she just didn’t fit your idea of “chill”?
It’s like you’re implying that women are high-maintenance and too much to handle for you, so now you’ve found one that won’t challenge you.
Women don’t want to be seen as a problem to be solved. They want to be appreciated for their real selves – and they want to know if you can handle it.
4. I Like That You’re Not Obsessed With Money and Gifts
When a man says this, women immediately think that he’s probably cheap or not willing to spend on them.
You might be trying to compliment her on not being materialistic, but what you’re actually saying is that you’re not really willing to invest in her, anyway.
Women like to feel special, and small gifts are one of many ways you can let a woman know she matters to you.
If expecting a gift every now and again is too much for you, she’ll assume you don’t care enough or that you’re not devoted to making her happy.
It’s a weird thing to say, and it will sound wrong even to the most humble of women.
5. I Like You Better Without Makeup
Telling a woman she looks better without makeup sounds like you’re complimenting her natural beauty, but it’s a tricky line.
Given time, a woman will spend hours on her looks, whether it’s for herself or someone she likes. When you say this, it can feel like you’re invalidating her effort.
Alright, it’s great that you find her naturally pretty, but what about all that time she took to look nice for you?
Overall, this comes off as dismissive of her effort and her choices.
That’s why this compliment can often backfire real fast.
6. You’d Be so Pretty If…
Anytime a guy tells a woman she’d be prettier if she lost weight, changed her hair, smiled more, or anything else – it doesn’t come off as a compliment, but as a critique.
And I’d say that it’s often meant as a critique, too, except you’re trying to be subtle about it.
Nobody likes being told they’re not quite good enough for you as they are.
Most women invest a lot in their appearance, so when you make these “if only” statements, it feels like you’re invalidating her effort or telling her she doesn’t meet your standards.
If you’re serious about someone, it’s better to just be direct. Let her know if she’s let herself go, instead of trying to wrap it up into a compliment.
It’s always better to be honest than to beat around the bush with passive comments.
7. You’re the Perfect Woman to Settle Down With
This hits so different for women! You might think you’re complimenting her values or lifestyle, but what this comment actually does is imply she’s boring.
She hears it, like, now that you’ve had all the fun in your life that you wanted, you’re just looking for someone to be dull and domestic with.
It suggests you see her as a safe option – no trace of excitement or passion.
Women want to be appreciated for who they are, not just for the things you can get out of them.
This comment can make her wonder if you see her as backup once your fun phase is over.
8. I’m Happy This Is Going Well, I’m Ready to Have a Girlfriend
When a man says, “I’m ready to have a girlfriend,” alarms go off in a woman’s head. This “compliment” implies that you just want a girlfriend, not necessarily her.
It’s a generic statement that doesn’t show genuine interest. Women want to know that you chose them specifically, not like they’re just there so you could have a boyfriend status.
Saying this can make her question if you actually like her or if you just want the label.
If you’re serious about someone, show it; don’t just state that you’re ready for a relationship as if it’s a milestone to check off.
9. It’s Rare to Meet Such a Normal Woman
This one is yet another subtle dig at all women.
When you “compliment” a woman in such a way, she wonders how you see her whole sex, and what crazy or difficult even means to you.
It’s a way of putting her in a box. If you end up doing something that angers her, will she also be labeled as a crazy woman for reacting?
And what kind of women did you even go out with before? Did they actually have issues, so that a “normal” woman is a surprise for you?
This comment also sounds like you’re just trying to boost her ego in order to get what you want.
10. You Look Like a Girl Who Knows How to Have a Good Time
This “compliment” reduces a woman to the good times you can have together, and pretty much lets her know your only intention is a hookup or a casual thing.
It completely ignores any depth and personality she brings to the table.
This statement can be outright offensive if a woman actually likes you and was hoping that your encounter would actually go somewhere.
It pretty much lets her know you’re not actually interested in anything meaningful.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.