Sometimes, your joyous, happy friend is secretly struggling – and you just don’t know it.
But it’s true. The happiest people often have the deepest emotional scars.
How do you notice the signs? And what can you do to help?
Here’s what you need to know.
Why People Hide Pain Behind a Smile
People hide behind a smile because it’s easier. It’s a way out.
Sometimes, they’re so kind that they wouldn’t want to bother anyone.
You ask if they’re okay, and their replies are usually the same.
And even when they vent, they don’t ask for help or support.
The struggle is real. And it’s everyone around you. Everyone’s fighting a hidden battle.
So, noticing subtle signs that your friends may need help is crucial.
Being tuned in and observant allows you to spot them and act wisely.
So, what are the must-know subtle signs that your friend is secretly struggling?
1 • Their Sleep Schedule Has Changed
And not only changed – but changed drastically.
Sleep is the very foundation of a healthy life. Without it, you’re tired all the time.
Sure, not everyone goes to sleep at the same hour. And that’s fine. But when someone’s sleep schedule suddenly appears chaotic, it’s usually a sign of depression or burnout.
Maybe they’re sleeping longer than usual. Or they’re having difficulties falling asleep.
Either way, when sleep suffers – everything else follows suit.
Check up on your friend and ask about their sleep schedule.
It may be a sign that they’re struggling if it’s notably off.
2 • Giving up on Their Hobbies
Sometimes, yes, you have too much going on to focus on your hobbies.
But it’s unusual for a painter not to pick up a brush for a year or two.
Maybe your friend loves the outdoors. But now, they rarely, if ever, leave their room.
And if that doesn’t draw a question mark above your head, what will?
Pay attention to these signs. Hobbies are all about passion and doing what you love. And when your friend gives up on their hobbies and stays put, it points to a bigger problem.
Be involved in your friend’s life. Don’t hesitate to ask more direct questions.
You could spark their inspiration by inviting them to do fun and exciting things.
All it takes is a little effort and presence to make a potentially life-saving difference.
3 • Disregard for Health (And Safety!)
Someone who’s secretly struggling takes needless risks and jeopardizes their health.
For example, they may pick up drinking. Or they may even start smoking.
It’s slow at first. But it can quickly spiral out and become more problematic.
Maybe they’re no longer showering as much or neglecting their hygiene.
Sure, we’re all a mess sometimes, but when it’s constant – it’s a clear sign of depression.
Pay attention to these signs before they fan out to encompass months and years.
Little by little, the mind can erode. So, we must stay involved in each other’s lives.
4 • Fixing Problems, Just… Not Their Own
Some people love to fix other people’s problems because they can’t solve their own.
What’s more, they expect nothing in return. They help because they want to. Out of the kindness of their heart. And being a positive force in the Universe gives them purpose.
Maybe their self-confidence and self-worth are destroyed.
So, they don’t think they deserve kindness and compassion.
Still, they go out of their way to help others however they can.
Always make sure to check up on your friends who do so much for everyone else.
5 • Emotionally Intense or Completely Blank
People react differently to hardship and emotional turmoil.
It can be challenging to dissect the problem because each is unique.
But it’s fundamentally an emotional problem that needs to be explored in-depth.
Some people swallow their emotions, sweeping them under the rug. This can lead to an implosion. Or it can lead to a blank state of emotional existence where you’re just void.
With emotions on lockdown, they go from one day into the next, feeling empty.
So, what kind of signs should you be on the lookout for?
A lack of motivation. Decision-making issues and emptiness or intensity.
6 • Failing to Do the Simple and Easy
This one sounds strange, but it hits home for many people.
Sometimes, you’re just minding your business in the kitchen, cooking a meal. Only to end up having a mental breakdown over steak. You’re not incompetent. You’re overwhelmed.
People with these problems overreact when things don’t go their way.
And anything can be a trigger, really – even the most mundane things, like tying a shoe.
For them, trying is a challenge in and of itself, let alone persisting after failure.
7 • Distracted From Distraction by Distraction
People who are secretly unwell are prone to distractions.
They’re always on social media, scrolling the endless abyss of cheap entertainment.
And it isn’t good to the point where it affects their mental health and well-being.
This one’s tricky to spot. You never know what someone is up to when they’re alone.
But if they’re chronically online, it’s a good sign that their mental state is deteriorating.
And this can quickly spiral out of control, affecting work and relationships.
So, stopping it before the problem enroots itself into the psyche is crucial.
Wrapping Up
Check up on your friends as often as possible. Make sure they’re doing well.
Keep an eye out for these must-know signs to get ahead of the problem.
Painting and writing – these are two passions that I have been perfecting for a decade.