Situationships are exhausting. They force you to lie to yourself that things will eventually get better, that the other person will come around at some point.
So, how can you know if this thing you have going on is worth the wait, or if you’re just running in circles?
1. You’re Always Anxious and Second-Guessing
If you’re constantly anxious about the future of the relationship, you’re probably stuck in a situationship. You’re always on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Every text and every look feels loaded with meaning, and you always have to wonder if you’re getting somewhere or they’re losing interest.
The constant doubt affects your confidence, always forcing to you to walk on eggshells.
The truth is painful but simple; if you have to try so hard to decode their behaviors and feelings, the relationship isn’t secure or committed.
You can never have peace and truly be happy without clarity, and that’s the bare minimum your partner should provide.
2. You Feel Like You Must Minimize Your Needs
Does it feel like you have to hide your true needs just to keep the peace? If so, that’s a clear sign you’re in a situationship.
You might hold back what you really want – commitment, honesty, emotional support – because you’re afraid of their reaction.
Instead, you settle for crumbs, pretending you’re okay with less.
This kind of dynamic leads straight to self-resentment. Authentic love never makes you shrink yourself for someone.
Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself, “Is this really all I deserve?”
3. The “Commitment” Talk Is Always Avoided
Whenever you try to discuss where your relationship is going, they either dodge the question or change the subject?
If you can’t even discuss your future openly, it’s clearly a situationship.
You want clarity and reassurance, but you can never get them from a person who acts like commitment is the worst case scenario.
Instead of having an actual conversation, you’re left with vague promises and half-answers. It’s a draining dynamic that doesn’t get you anywhere.
If you feel like they put up a wall every time you try to have the “where is this going” conversation, that’s a sign you’re most likely in a situationship.
4. You Don’t Recognize Yourself When You’re with Them
Do you leave their place feeling like you’re not quite yourself? Maybe you’re more anxious, more self-conscious, or just inexplicably tired?
That’s because being in a situationship can strip away your sense of authenticity.
You start hiding part of yourself or going along with things you usually wouldn’t.
You’re trying to fit into a mold that isn’t yours, all in the hope that they’re going to come around.
However, love should bring out your best; you should glow and be more confident than ever, not second-guess yourself.
If you feel like you must always play a role or hold back, it’s time to reconsider what this person really adds to your life.
5. Their Promises Never Come True
Are their promises hollow? If they always get your hopes up but never actually deliver, it’s a huge red flag and probably a sign of a situationship.
You’re holding onto hope that they’ll change, but that alone should be enough to turn away. When someone truly loves you, their actions match their words.
However, if their actions mostly fall short, they’re not committed. And clinging to hope will only keep you stuck in a cycle of disappointment.
You deserve someone whose actions align with their promises, not someone who always puts you through an emotional rollercoaster.
6. You Downplay Your Expectations to Avoid Scaring Them Off
If you’re still not sure it’s a situationship, ask yourself this: Can you voice your expectations without the fear of losing them?
If the only way to keep someone around is by settling for less than you actually want, then such a relationship is simply unsustainable.
True love makes us better ourselves to match our partner’s expectations, and here you are, shrinking yourself so the other person wouldn’t run for the hills.
Is that really better than being by yourself?
Settling for the bare minimum or below is no way to build a meaningful connection.
If you don’t feel welcome to express all of your expectations and hopes for a shared future, it’s obviously a situationship.
7. Your Connection Feel Off
Can you confidently say that the relationship feels right? Do you feel safe? Do you trust them? Are your needs met, and can you see it lasting exactly as it is right now?
If any of these feel off, you’re probably in a situationship.
Crumbs of affection, mixed signals, and emotional exhaustion have no place in serious, loving relationships. Real love should energize you!
If you’re constantly justifying their behavior or convincing yourself it’s good enough, it’s time to face the harsh reality.
Recognize the signs, and gather the courage to walk away and find someone who’ll be happy to meet your needs.
8. Why You Must Know
Some people stay in their situationships for decades; some even go as far as marrying their situationship. So, what’s the problem?
All of the above, the mixed signals, the feeling that you owe it to them to settle for crumbs, the toxicity – those are the problems that never leave these kinds of relationships.
That’s why it’s extremely important to recognize you’re stuck in one and to look for something better.
Real love never makes you second-guess your worth, so it’s best to reconsider it now while you still have nothing to lose.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.