Most people who feel stress, pain, and discomfort turn towards meditation and a more spiritual way of living. This new way of dealing with things makes them feel much happier and ready to face life’s challenges.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing And How It Develops
Being spiritually awake is a wonderful thing and it can help you develop healthy habits. However, sometimes when life’s obstacles appear, many people do not want to feel distressed, thinking the negativity will affect their spiritual journey.
This creates toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing. Spiritual bypassing develops when people use spirituality or meditation to escape stress or trauma without healing first.
These people usually mask their true feelings with toxic positivity i.e. always trying to remain happy with a positive mindset.
Have you ever been in a situation where you explained to a friend how bad you felt, and their response was: ‘Well, that is life, it is not that bad.’ or ‘Don’t be so negative, you have a lot to be grateful for.’.
It is called toxic because feelings that are not dealt with and only swept under the rug can cause problems to your emotions later in life.
Signs That You Are Spiritually Bypassing
There are several signs that may indicate you are not dealing with your emotions properly.
1. Avoiding negativity
If you are someone who cannot deal with a normal dose of negativity in your life, that means you are not spiritually developed. Being spiritually grown means that you accept life as it is – both positive and negative sides.
2. Detachment
A healthy dose of detachment is OK for people who are developing spiritually. However, those who detach without compassion often mistake indifference for equanimity, which is not how spiritually healthy people think.
3. Glorifying meditation
If you believe that meditation should always be a positive experience, you may never be prepared to face your deepest problems or fears. Meditation is a deep, introspective process that teaches us a lot about our positive AND negative sides.
4. Feeling superior
If you think that your practices and gained knowledge is superior to others who may not be on a spiritual journey, you may be wrong. If you are on a certain level of your journey, that does not mean others are less developed.
You never know what others had to go through in order to become what they are today. Each person has their own timeline that you should not judge.
Also, when talking to other people, those who are spiritually bypassing often minimize their pain by saying things like: ‘Do not let that upset you.’ or ‘Just look at the brighter side of life!’.
These sentences may be said with our best intentions but the receiving end will feel like their emotions are being invalidated.
Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is the product of spiritual bypassing. It is the notion that no bad days/feelings should be allowed and that negative emotions will manifest negativity.
It is toxic because the emotions that we do not deal with will always haunt us until we are forced to address them. Hiding a pimple under makeup is not going to heal it.
Toxic positivity is harmful because it will not let you grow. In order to grow spiritually we need to address and deal with all negative emotions we hold. We need to dig deep and learn about our traumas and triggers.
Only then, when we recognize the problem, we can go on a journey to heal. Meditation can help us feel these dark corners of our souls, bring them to light, and accept them. Once we accept them, we are ready to heal them.
If we only want positivity, we are not ready to face life or our true selves.
How To Deal With Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing
If you recognize yourself in some of the mentioned traits, do not worry. You are in the right place to learn about fixing this mindset. There are several methods we can use to fix or avoid spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity.
1. Allow negativity
When we realize that negative emotions are a normal part of our lives, it becomes easier to deal with them. If your meditation practices happen to evoke negativity, accept it and try to understand what triggers them.
This way, you will easily turn them into positive thoughts and feelings. Acceptance is the first step towards healing.
2. Meditate every day
If you feel that you have not dealt with some important issues in your life, it is important to include meditation in your daily routine.
Define how you want to deal with things that bother you and know that better things will come once you deal with past traumas and problems. If meditation appears negative from time to time – know that this is also a big part of the journey.
3. Allow yourself to make mistakes
This is an important part of self-discovery while trying to fix toxic positivity. Thinking that we always have to be (or are) perfect is a toxic trait itself. Nobody is perfect which is, ironically, what makes us all perfect.
We do not need to be perfect in our spiritual journeys – remember that mistakes can be our greatest lessons.
4. Practice self-love
Many people make mistakes when they start practicing self-love. Self-love does not mean you should only love the best parts of your personality.
You are much more complex than your good sides. Loving yourself means accepting both attributes and negative traits. When you accept them, you will be able to change them.
Human nature is always about evolving and finding what feeds your soul – and you will love it when you learn self-acceptance and self-love.
5. Be compassionate
Do not see the negativity of others as a threat to you. Start practicing compassion whenever you can because you may have once been in the same position.
By being compassionate towards others, we will learn to be more compassionate towards ourselves. It is a beautiful gift that you can both give and receive.
When people discuss problems, try to understand them instead of lecturing them, feeling superior. Other people will appreciate you more and you will learn how to listen to yourself as well.
Acceptance Is Key
Spiritual bypassing often serves as a defense mechanism, shielding us from pain that feels overwhelming. However, this form of protection can backfire.
By ignoring or sidestepping difficult issues, we might actually increase stress and complicate future resolution efforts. While avoidance drives this behavior, other influences also shape it.
For instance, wellness culture can fuel spiritual bypassing by promoting toxic positivity and constant optimism. This mindset suggests that true wellness means transcending all negativity.
The trouble is, negative emotions are natural and can signal that changes are necessary. Overlooking these emotions can worsen our problems later on. The best way to deal with them is to meditate, address our negative feelings, and accept them in order to heal.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.