Relationships are a beautiful thing, but there are some tough realities we women have to accept if we want to have happiness and respect with men.
Though we can get caught up in wishful thinking, the reality is that understanding men and respecting ourselves will serve us much better.
If you’re serious about building a healthy, fulfilling relationship, you’ve got to face these truths head-on.
1. Don’t Rearrange Your Life If You’re Just Dating
You’re not married yet, so don’t put your life on hold for a guy who’s just a boyfriend.
You’re essentially single until you have a ring on your finger. That means your priorities, your dreams, and your time – they only belong to you.
If you start changing your plans and making big sacrifices early on, you’re setting a bad precedent.
A man worth your time will respect your independence, or come through and marry you if he wants to plan a life together.
As tough as it can be, it’s paramount that you keep your boundaries.
2. Look at What He’s Doing, Not What He Says
Everyone likes hearing words of love and reassurance.
But for many women, these words can sometimes prevent us from seeing the big picture: actions will always speak louder.
Men tend to show us how they feel through what they do, not what they say.
It can be tough, but if he’s not backing up his words with concrete deeds, don’t buy into the fluff.
You deserve someone who shows up for you and puts effort into the relationship in real ways. Words can often be empty.
So, pay attention to what he does – that’s the only real proof of his intentions and feelings.
3. Love Can Blind You
It’s unfairly easy to get caught up in love and ignore red flags. Love is powerful and can make you overlook the flaws or mistreatment.
So, sometimes, as tough as it is, you must forget about feelings and remember what you deserve.
Love shouldn’t hurt or make you feel like you’re not enough. If a guy isn’t treating you right or makes you feel like you’re settling, take some time to reconsider the relationship.
Your well-being and self-respect should always come first. Love shouldn’t compromise your worth – it should uplift you.
4. Never Settle for Less
Women often settle for less because someone makes them believe they’re asking for too much.
But here’s the truth: for every man who says, “You’re asking for too much,” there’s a man out there who’d ask, “Is that all?”
Respect, honesty, kindness, and being each other’s priority aren’t unreasonable demands, and though it can be tough, you should leave when you’re not getting them from someone.
If a man isn’t willing to meet your reasonable standards, don’t change them or stay and try to fix him.
Stick to your guns, and choose someone who values you fully, and not someone who barely tolerates your expectations.
5. Stop Accepting Excuses
When a man isn’t giving you what you need, don’t make up excuses for him. Either he steps up or he doesn’t, and that’s that, as tough as it may sound.
If he’s not willing to get serious or make an effort, then it’s time to walk away.
Waiting around, hoping he’ll change, only teaches him that he can get away with less.
Be clear about your boundaries and stick to them.
If he can’t or won’t meet your needs, the best thing you can do is leave and show him you’re serious. You win either way.
6. Controlling Behavior Won’t Stop Cheating
Trying to control a man to prevent him from cheating is a fool’s game.
Control is an illusion, and it doesn’t change who someone is at their core. If he’s got a past of cheating or you’re having doubts, just confront him.
Trying to control him will only push him away and make him resent you – even if he’s not a cheater.
The tough reality is, if he’s not committed or trustworthy, no amount of rules, checking his phone, or nagging will change that.
Protect yourself by recognizing the signs early and understanding that loyalty comes from a person’s character, and not your control.
Save your energy for someone who’ll be faithful naturally.
7. Be Ready to Leave and Mean It
If he’s not treating you well, don’t waste time waiting for him to change.
It can be tough, but you must be willing to leave and really mean it.
Staying passive and waiting for things to get better on their own only shows him what he can get away with.
A man who respects you will want to make you happy and won’t take you for granted.
If he’s not making an effort, just leave – not out of anger, but out of self-respect. Leaving sends a clear message: I deserve better.
Nothing will change if you stay and tolerate bad behavior.
8. Stop Chasing Lost Causes
Women often try to fix men who are clearly beyond fixing or just not interested in change.
That’s a waste of your time and energy. Instead, raise your standards, and choose a good man to begin with.
It’s a tough thing to accept for some people, but sometimes, you’re the one who chose wrong. You ignored the red flags, and you convinced yourself that you can change them.
Good men are out there; the men who’d respect and value you, and want to build something real.
Trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change is pointless.
9. Men Will Meet Your Standards If You Do
Most men can meet any standards you set for them, if you’re clear and confident about what you want.
Let’s not forget that men of the past crossed seas, fought in duels, and went far and beyond for women they cared about – because they had to.
However, if you have no standards or boundaries, men will act accordingly. If you demand very little, he’ll give you exactly that.
Respect yourself enough to know what you won’t accept and communicate it early.
And high standards aren’t about being difficult or jerking someone around, but simply about consistency and self-respect.
It can be tough to uphold your own boundaries, but in doing so, you’ll attract the right kind of man, and repel those who can’t measure up.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.