Have you ever felt exhausted after spending time with someone, feeling like your energy was drained from you and all you were left with were negative thoughts?
Chances are, you were spending time with an energy vampire. Ever since I encountered one myself, a few years ago, I started paying closer attention to how I feel around different people.
Am I feeling inspired and refreshed after spending time with them, or am I irritated, stressed, and tired?
Energy vampires can cause various negative and energy-draining effects on your life.
Who are these people, how can we spot them, and what are the most effective ways to deal with them? Here’s how to protect your spirit from negativity.
The 5 Main Characteristics Of Energy Vampires
Even hearing the phrase “energy vampire” sounds scary and mythical. However, the phrase describes a very real set of personality traits that many people around you may possess, without you even realizing it.
Let us examine some of the more common traits that energy vampires possess that will help you recognize them easily.
1. Negative talk about self and others
If your friend is constantly talking bad about themselves, you may feel a need to reassure them of their positive sides and accomplishments.
This is fine if it happens once in a while, but if you find yourself constantly having to lift their spirits up and continuously talk positively about them, this person may be an energy vampire.
While together, instead of focusing on the positive sides of both of you and your friendship, your interactions may be encouraging for only one side, which can be spiritually draining for the other.
Unknowingly, your friend may be using your energy and leaving you feeling pretty exhausted. Negative talk about others can also be energy-draining since constant negativity can make you only seek faults in others and yourself.
Those feelings are associated with less optimism, less productivity, and less energy in general.
2. Drama surrounds them
If your friend is always surrounded by drama and you always need to step in to help them get out of it – you are probably friends with an energy vampire.
The constant need for drama and exciting events is not for everyone, and it can be quite life-disrupting. If you are a friend who is an empath, you may feel exhausted from constantly trying to help and be there for your friends.
3. They love manipulating and using people
Although you would naturally distance yourself from people who manipulate and use others, they may be doing it subtly, with a friendly smile on their face, so it is hard to spot.
Always needing you, but never around when you need them is a typical behavior of a manipulator and an energy vampire.
These people may even brag about using others, while you would never suspect they would do that to you. Watch how they change when you need their help and how easily they find themselves busy with tons of excuses – every single time!
4. Your needs are unimportant to them
Have you ever complained to a friend about a problem and your conversation was suddenly made all about them and the exact same problem they once had?
With energy vampires, conversations are one-sided, and it’s always all about them. They have little interest in listening to or supporting you, even when you need their help.
Instead, they will talk (for hours) about their experience dealing with the same problem, without even listening to you fully.
Sometimes, people can relate to you and give you advice from their experience, but if it constantly happens and invalidates your feelings, it can quickly drain your energy.
5. They are constantly tired
Being negative and always in the center of attention can be draining itself! Energy vampires can mask their negativity quite well by always irritatingly acting tired and unmotivated.
Especially at work, these people can bring a lot of negativity to the workplace by constantly complaining and disregarding other people’s feelings.
How To Efficiently Deal With Energy Vampires?
Now that we have determined how to spot an energy vampire, there are several ways you can deal with them and protect your inner peace from their energy-draining company.
1. Distance yourself
If you are constantly exposed to an energy vampire, and you are not in a position to distance yourself physically, try to do it mentally. Mental boundaries will allow you to ignore them, while still pretending to be present.
If it is possible, try to reduce the time you spend with these people as much as you can. Instead of talking to them every day, try to do it twice a week. Also, if you need to meet up with them, make it short and sweet, without giving them space for negative content and/or gossip.
2. Develop mental boundaries
This will help you not get too invested in their stories and negativity. This approach may even result in them distancing themselves from you because when they feel ignored, they will search for another victim.
3. Be direct
Instead of letting them drag you into their drama, once you have recognized an emotional vampire, you can simply tell them ‘no’ and move on. You may risk losing them as a friend, but if you are OK with that and if it is good for you, the answer is simple.
4. Find friends who are good for you
Try to find people who will care for you and nourish your energy as much as you nourish theirs. These friendships can contribute to your positive energy levels and overall happiness and mental well-being.
5. Work on your self-esteem and self-care
When you know your worth and when your energy is strong, you will not let energy vampires use you, even though you will attract them instantly.
People with strong character can detect when someone is not genuine and distance themselves completely. It is important to work on your energy. Do activities that bring you joy, happiness, and positive feelings.
Believe in your ability to trust your intuition and rely on your sixth sense. Connect with your true nature and you will not take any negativity from others.
It always comes down to us, doesn’t it? While dealing with energy vampires can result in stress, anxiety, and even depression, it is important to spot them and learn how to deal with them.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.