Many of us have been there – our partners start texting us less frequently, they are cold and avoidant, they have less time for us, or we simply feel something is ‘off’ when talking to them.
Sometimes, these situations indicate that our partner is going through a lot at that moment, that there is underlying stress they are dealing with, or that we need to work on our communication.
But what if some of these situations and signs could be more than that? Which subtle signs could our partners be giving us (consciously or subconsciously) that could indicate they want to leave us?
1. They’re Spending More Time Alone or With Others
If you feel like your partner is no longer spending time with you as they used to, or they prefer to spend most important events or holidays away from home, it may be a sign they are becoming distant.
It is one thing to have friends and enjoy time with them, but if the time they spend with you is much less than before, it’s time to talk. Try to be understanding and do not attack them; simply raise your concerns.
Sometimes, we need some healthy space from our partner, but if it is becoming unhealthy for your relationship, you should speak up.
2. Intimacy Has Taken a Backseat
If you feel like your partner is always being avoidant when it comes to intimacy, and you cannot even remember the last time you were romantic with each other, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
Being intimate is a part of any healthy relationship, and you should always take the absence of it seriously.
It is possible that it is just a phase and that your partner could be mentally or physically exhausted, but it is best to try and talk about it.
3. They’ve Grown Distant Without Explanation
You may have noticed that you are no longer eating together with your partner as regularly, no longer enjoying holidays together, or you simply stopped having small rituals as a couple.
This may be concerning if there was no major event that made your partner’s distance acceptable. Spending time together is an important part of a relationship, and if they do not want to spend time with you, they might be wanting to prepare you for their absence.
Talk things through and try to voice your concerns. If you are someone who prefers action, organize a fun date and see how they react to the idea.
4. Future Plans No Longer Include You
If your partner constantly talks about their future but they never mention you, it can be quite nerve-wrecking.
It is a subtle sign that they might not see you as a part of their future plans, and might want to leave.
While some people think that their partner is an integral part of their future and they do not feel the need to mention them, some may subconsciously be signaling that they are ready to leave.
5. Communication Feels Forced or Minimal
If you are unable to talk to your partner regularly and you feel like they would rather be left alone, it could be a sign that they are starting to distance themselves from you.
Comunicazione is an integral part of every relationship, and you should be able to talk things through with your partner. Even hard and difficult conversations should not be avoided, as they are important for understanding each other and resolving conflicts.
If this starts happening, start talking to your partner about how you feel and prove to them that you will not be judgmental. Maybe they do not want to open up because they feel they will be judged.
6. They’re Suddenly Overly Critical
When a partner becomes overly critical for no reason, it usually conveys a much deeper meaning. They might feel like they need to offend you so you can leave them before they leave you. Or, they are feeling less self-confident and want to reflect that on you.
Stress can be a huge trigger for such behavior as well, so keep an open mind. Whatever the reason is, it is important to try and voice your concerns. Try to stay respectful and address all the instances where you felt criticized.
Remind them that it is okay to give advice and express opinions, but not when the goal is to make you feel bad all the time.
7. Your Gut Is Telling You Something’s Off
Sometimes we ignore our gut feeling about a situation, and it can bring terrible consequences. Our gut is always giving us signals about our surroundings, and we should listen to it whenever it feels uncomfortable or not.
If your gut is telling you that your partner is becoming distant and that things are not as they used to be, you should not simply brush that feeling off. Rationalize the feeling and try to determine where it comes from.
If you are not sure, talk to your partner about it. Their response will tell you a lot. If they are understanding and ready to communicate, it might be just your head, not your gut.
The moment you feel like their response is dismissive and they blame you for feeling bad, you need to listen to your gut.
8. They’ve Mentioned Wanting “Space”
While having “spazio” in a relationship to do things separately is healthy, too much space might be a sign your partner is trying to distance themselves from you.
If you are someone who loves spending all of your time with your partner, this may be a truly stressful situation. It is important to talk about how much “space” both of you need for a healthy relationship.
Compromise is needed if you care enough about each other’s feelings. If your partner still insists on having space or having a break from your relationship overall, you might need to reconsider whether that is benefiting you and whether or not your boundaries are being respected.
Talk things through and see if you can find a middle ground.
9. They Get Defensive or Secretive
Have you ever felt like your partner is keeping secrets from you or doesn’t want to discuss important things in life with you?
If so, you know it can feel isolating when you try to discuss problems, and they become secretive or defensive and want to deal with them on their own.
This might indicate that there is another person with whom they discuss things, or that they do not feel comfortable talking about problems with you. Either way, it is not okay to leave things hanging and not talk about them.
Be direct and be open about how you feel. This might be hard for both of you, but it will lead to some kind of clarity. If they do not want to open up even though you tried your best to be understanding, it might be time to give them space.
10. They Show Less Interest in Resolving Conflicts
Conflicts are a normal part of a relationship, and they show us how mature and serious our partner is. If they are present constantly, it does not mean your relationship is bad.
Quite contrary, resolving conflicts strengthens a relationship and makes you understand your partner better. However, when your partner does not want to resolve conflicts and wants to stay upset, it might indicate they want space from you.
You do not need to feel bad about wanting to discuss this with your partner, so it is best you do so. If they keep refusing, try to give them space and see how they react. Sometimes silence gives you more answers than you might think.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.