We’ve all encountered people who are just too emotionally distant, no matter how much we try to get close. These are the avoidant types.
They often play mind games to keep their distance without outright rejecting you.
It’s important to know that this behavior is not necessarily malicious – it’s more about their own fears and struggles with intimacy.
However, you should also try to understand their playbook to be able to see through these games in order to protect your heart.
Let’s explore 6 common games avoidants use, how to spot them, and what’s really going on in their heads.
1. The Ghosting
Avoidants love disappearing without a warning. It’s like their default escape plan.
One day they’re texting you as usual, and the next, they vanish into thin air!
They do this to create emotional distance without confrontation, due to their fear of getting too close. And they might not even realize they’re playing this mind game!
If you notice someone suddenly going quiet or ignoring your messages, it’s probably their way of testing your commitment or just protecting themselves from getting hurt.
Recognize it, don’t bother with chase, and remember it’s not about you – it’s their fear.
2. The Push-and-Pull Mind Game
This game is classic. One moment they’re all in, and the very next, they clam up and pull away. It’s like they’re playing hot potato with their feelings!
Essi crave connection but also fear intimacy, so they sabotage closeness just when things feel good.
They might flirt, then suddenly withdraw, leaving you confused.
This mind game is their defense mechanism. By pulling back, they try to preserve their emotional safety.
If you find yourself stuck in this cycle, remember they’re battling their own fears and not necessarily rejecting you.
This is where you find the equilibrio tra patience and boundaries. Show them some grace, but do not allow them to keep you in this cycle for too long.
It’s important to recognize when it’s time to leave.
3. The Silent Treatment
Avoidants sometimes resort to silence as a way to punish or push you away.
Instead of openly talking about issues, they play mind games, hoping you’ll get the hint and back off.
This silence is their way of controlling the emotional situation, as it gives them time to process fears or discomfort.
They often struggle with processing their own feelings, so silence is like a shield.
If you’re met with radio silence, try not to interpret it as a personal attack. They’re scared of vulnerability and prefer to withdraw rather than confront the issues head-on.
Giving them space and encouraging honest communication is your best bet.
4. The “I’m Fine” Claim
When confronted or questioned about their emotions, avoidants might insist they’re fine, even when they’re clearly not.
This mind game is their way to avoid opening up or admitting weakness.
They often see vulnerability as dangerous, so hiding their feelings behind a mask feels safer.
This is understandably frustrating, because it’s like they’re shutting down the conversation and giving up on your relationship.
Recognize that their “I’m fine” is a defense, not the truth.
Building trust takes time, and showing consistent patience and understanding can help them feel safe enough to share their real feelings eventually.
5. The Overly Independent Act
Avoidants often project total independence, making it seem like they don’t need anyone.
They might insist they’re doing great on their own or dismiss offers of help and closeness.
They resort to this mind game to mask their fear of dependence or being hurt. Deep down, they crave connection, but still believe they’re better on their own.
This is their mental shield against rejection.
If someone’s acting super self-sufficient or dismissive of your efforts, they might be hiding vulnerability.
Respect their autonomy, but don’t mistake independence for disinterest.
Sometimes, all they need is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to lean in.
6. The Blame Game
Avoidants can sometimes point fingers or blame external circumstances to avoid taking responsibility for emotional distance.
They might give you excuses such as being too busy, not being ready, or just not being good at relationships.
This mind game deflects attention from their own fears and insecurities. It’s a way to keep you at arm’s length without outright rejecting you.
Recognize this pattern as a sign they’re uncomfortable with vulnerability, not necessarily that they dislike you.
Il key is compassion. Try encouraging open dialogue without pushing too hard.
Sometimes, they simply need reassurance that they’re safe to open up gradually.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.