10 Ways You Can Care for People Who Can’t Love Themselves

When someone can’t love themselves, it’s like they’re trapped in a dark room with no way out. 

As friends, family, or partners, we want to help but often don’t know how. 

The truth is, loving ourselves is a journey, and sometimes we all need a little help along the way. 

If you’ve got someone in your life struggling with self-love, your care and support can make a huge difference. But it’s also important to remember that real change takes time.

Here are 10 ways you can show up for someone who’s finding it hard to love themselves.

1. Just Listen

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just show up and listen without offering solutions. People who struggle with self-love often feel overwhelmed and misunderstood.

When you’re around, just let them talk if they want, and don’t pressure them to get better right away.

Your presence alone can be comforting, and it shows that you care.

Avoid giving advice unless asked, because sometimes what they need most is to feel accepted and safe. 

Showing genuine interest and patience shows them they matter without even saying a word. It’s about making yourself a steady, caring presence in their life. 

2. Validate Their Feelings

It might be tempting to say “You shouldn’t feel that way,” but that can often make things worse. 

Instead, acknowledge their feelings as real and valid. Emotions are complicated, and people may often sound unreasonable, especially when they’re hurting.

Even if you don’t truly understand or relate, saying things like “That sounds really tough” or “I see that you’re hurting,” helps them feel seen.

Validation shows they’re not alone in their struggles, and that they’re cared for. Everyone’s experience is different, so avoid dismissing their emotions.

Still, validating doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say; it just means you respect how they feel.

Questo builds trust and encourages them to open up over time.

3. Avoid Judgment

When someone is struggling with self-love, criticism only deepens their pain. 

It’s important to be mindful of your words – what might seem like helpful advice and care can instead be internalized as judgment.

Instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong, focus on kindness and understanding. If they share insecurities, don’t dismiss or minimize them.

Instead, try to gently remind them that everyone has flaws and struggles, but that doesn’t define their worth.

Creating a non-judgmental zone makes it easier for them to be vulnerable and begin to see themselves through kinder eyes.

4. Celebrate Small Wins With Them

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s totally okay. Make sure to celebrate even the tiny steps forward!

Getting out of bed on their worst days, saying positive things about themselves, or reaching out for help are all signs of improvement.

Recognizing these small wins can boost their confidence and show them that they’re capable of growth. 

And no matter how much you care, make sure not to overdo it with praise. That might make you sound insincere.

Reminding them of their efforts helps build resilience.

When they see progress, no matter how small, it can ignite hope and motivate them to keep going.

5. Offer Consistent Support and Patience

Supporting someone who struggles with self-love isn’t a one-time thing, but a steady process. Consistency matters a lot.

Check in on them regularly, even if it’s just a quick text to let them know you’re thinking of them. 

Patience is key. It’s important to accept that setbacks will happen. Let them know you’re there for the long haul, not just for the good days.

Your ongoing presence can remind them that they’re not alone, and that they’re cared for even when they can’t see it themselves.

Over time, this consistent support can slowly help rebuild their sense of worth.

6. Encourage Self-Compassion

People who can’t love themselves often have a harsh inner critic. It’s crucial to help them practice self-compassion instead of self-judgment. 

You can gently suggest they talk to themselves like they would to a good friend – to be kind, patient, and understanding.

Share simple exercises, like writing down positive qualities about themselves or giving themselves permission to make mistakes.

Small acts of kindness towards themselves can gradually shift their mindset.

Remember, it’s about planting seeds of care and patience, not forcing them to change overnight. 

Self-compassion is a skill that develops over time, and your support can make that journey easier.

7. Show Them Their Value Through Actions

Sometimes words aren’t enough, and azioni sempre speak louder.

Small gestures, like including them in activities, bringing their favorite snack, or offering a hug, show you care.

Consistent kind actions reinforce their sense of belonging and worth.

It’s about making them feel seen and appreciated without necessarily expecting anything in return. 

Over time, these thoughtful acts can help them internalize the idea that they’re lovable. 

Genuine kindness and patience are powerful tools that can gradually chip away at their self-doubt and help them see their own value.

8. Help Them Build Healthy Boundaries

People who struggle to love themselves also have issues setting boundaries. This leads to further burnout or feeling unworthy.

Gently encourage them to recognize what they need and to say no when necessary.

Having healthy boundaries is a way of showing respect and care for themselves, and it can boost their confidence.

Offer to help or discuss scenarios where they can practice asserting themselves. 

But respecting their pace is essential; pushing too hard can easily backfire.

When they start to prioritize their well-being, it’s a sign they’re beginning to value themselves more. 

Your role is to supporto the process, not rush it.

9. Don’t Try to Fix Them

It’s tempting to want to rush in and fix someone who’s struggling to love themselves, but this kind of approach is very counterproductive.

Focus on being a compassionate presence and accepting them as they are. 

Healing and self-love are personal journeys, so they have to come from within. Your role is to offer care and support, not to overhaul or change them.

Avoid making their struggles the center of conversations or offering unsolicited advice. Instead, let them discover their own path at their speed.

Your patience and understanding are often the best gifts you can give. They create a safe space for growth without pressure.

10. Know When to Encourage Professional Help

While your support is invaluable, some struggles with self-love may be rooted in deeper issues, like depression or trauma.

In those cases, encouraging professional help is the best step forward.

Gently suggest therapy or counseling as a safe, supportive environment where they can work through their feelings.

Offer to help them find resources or go with them if they want. 

You’re not a therapist, but your encouragement can be a catalyst for seeking the help they need.

Respect their readiness, and remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength and progress.