Every now and again, you find yourself in a situation where someone gets to take advantage of your inexperience or naivety without you even realizing.
It takes some people years to realize they’ve been used by someone, and by then, it’s too late to do anything about it.
I’ve put together 10 rules that can help you be ready for these situations and make sure you’re not taken for granted.
They’re simple but very useful!
1. Trust Actions, Not Words
This one sounds like an obvious one, yet we so often forget about it.
Words are cheap, and to a dishonest person, they come too easily; actions, on the other hand, reveal true priorities and intentions.
People can promise you the world, and if you trust those promises without observing their actions, you could end up being taken advantage of.
Whenever someone’s actions fail to match their words, remember it and be cautious around them.
Your trust should be deserved with consistency, not with empty words.
When someone shows up for you without being asked and respects your boundaries, you can trust that that person isn’t going to use you.
2. Prioritize Financial Independence
Having your own money elevates your social standing. It doesn’t have to be a lot as long as it’s yours.
Perhaps it’s not fair, but people don’t show the same amount of respect to those who stand on their own feet and those who depend on someone else.
People are less likely to try to use you when they see you’re independent.
Besides, financial independence gives you the option to walk away if someone’s crossing your boundaries or trying to take advantage of you.
When you don’t need others’ support, you’re less likely to stay in toxic situations.
As long as you’re independent, you’ll always have the upper hand.
3. Don’t Chase After Anyone
Chasing after people who aren’t as invested as you are doesn’t get you anywhere.
You can’t force someone to value you; you’ll just end up feeling used and questioning your self-worth.
In this instance, you’re not being taken advantage of by another person, but setting yourself up for it.
So, if someone’s not making an effort to show you they care, don’t waste your time. Instead, focus on yourself, your work, your peace.
When you’re confident and fulfilled on your own, you attract the right kind of people.
4. Be Decisive
Hesitation and indecisiveness can leave you vulnerable to being used. When you’re unsure of yourself, people notice, and some of them might try to take advantage of you.
When you’re able to make confident decisions, even if it’s about something small, it shows you know exactly what you want.
Decisiveness is a sign of self-respect and confidence, so it makes people think twice before attempting to use you.
This confidence also shows in your confini and your ability to say no.
That’s how you keep control and avoid manipulation.
5. Guard Your Time
Time is our most precious resource, and the only one we can’t get back.
If you keep giving time to people and situations that don’t add any value, you’re setting yourself up to be used.
Be selective about where and with whom you spend your energy. Say no when you need to, and with time, you’ll learn not to feel guilty about it.
Focus on things and people that genuinely matter a voi.
When you guard your time, you’re also showing people that you respect yourself and your boundaries.
If you’re too nice and afraid of offending anyone, others can take advantage of your availability.
6. Don’t Reveal Your Weaknesses Easily
We all have weaknesses, but there’s no need to share them with everyone. Be careful what you reveal, especially early on.
People who are out to use you can exploit your vulnerabilities if you’re an open book.
Keep some parts of yourself private until someone has earned your trust.
You’re not hiding your true self or avoiding vulnerability – you’re just being selective about time, place, and person.
It’s important to be strategic and share things about yourself in layers, gradually.
Wise people know when to keep quiet and when to let others in.
7. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are a crucial part of any interaction. Whether it’s at work, in personal relationships, or with family, you need to uphold your limits.
Those who don’t get used by others, and they tend to end up with the short end of the stick.
So, always be clear about what you’re comfortable with.
When you don’t hesitate to let people know when their tone or requests are too much, those who would take advantage of you filter themselves out.
Boundaries allow you to protect your peace, and if they push some people away, those people weren’t good for you to begin with.
So, communicate openly, even when you know others won’t like what you have to say.
8. Speak Less, Observe More
Again, this comes down to the time and place. If you’re naturally chatty, feel free to be yourself around friends and family you trust.
However, around people you don’t know too well, it’s best to pace yourself and listen more than you speak.
Observation gives you insight into someone’s true intentions. Speaking too much distracts you, but by saying less, you control what others learn su di te.
It helps you spot who’s genuine and who might be trying to use you.
Being a good listener also allows you to understand people better, so that when you do speak, you’re able to say something constructive and insightful.
9. Control Your Emotions
Being too emotional or reactive makes it easy for others to exploit you. When you control your feelings, you’re able to stay composed in situations that matter.
This can lead you to say things you might later regret, or leave an opening for people who would use you.
So, keep your emotions in check and respond thoughtfully. It allows you to make better decisions.
It also shows others that you’re not easily influenced or manipulated.
Deep breathing and taking a pause before you respond can always make all the difference.
10. Stay Humble
In order to avoid being used and taken for granted, you must be aware that there’s a lot you don’t know.
C'è always more to learn, and no matter how much you’ve worked on yourself, you can still make a naive mistake now and again.
People who assume they know all there is to know often end up being proven wrong.
The world is constantly changing and evolving, and we have to keep up.
By knowing that you can always do better and refusing to settle, you’re able to stay strong in most situations.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.