SATC is a show packed with lessons about love, heartbreak, and knowing your worth.
Whether you’re recovering after a bad breakup or just tired of dating, the show gives us plenty to chew on.
From Carrie’s obsession with Big to Miranda’s man-child husband, there’s a little lecture in every misstep the characters make.
These lessons are truly timeless, and every time you come back to the show, you’re able to discover a new grain of wisdom that you’d previously missed.
1. Never Chase After People
Carrie spent two seasons obsessively chasing Big, convinced that if she just tried harder, he’d finally see her worth. Spoiler: That never works.
It’s only when she stopped running after him and focused on someone else that he came back for her.
When you pursue someone so eagerly, you make yourself look desperate, and this creates an unbalanced power dynamic.
Needy people aren’t as attractive.
So, here, Carrie’s messes give us a crucial lesson: If it’s not mutual, you shouldn’t bother.
If you must beg, wait around, and pray for someone’s effort, they’re not worth it.
Sometimes, the only way to get what you want is to stop trying so hard.
2. Root Your Confidence in Yourself
Carrie’s self-esteem is a rollercoaster because she lets external opinions define her worth.
A book critic, a comment from Big, and even a random stranger’s attitude can send her into a spiral.
Meanwhile, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda don’t let other people shake their confidence to that extent. They’re women who have enough value even without anyone’s approval.
The lesson to take from this is that you must build your self-esteem from within.
When you’re able to validate yourself, others’ validation comes as a cherry on top, but it doesn’t make or break your self-worth.
When you take this lesson to heart, you’re less likely to get caught in toxic situations or settle.
3. Chemistry Doesn’t Equal Love
Carrie’s chemistry with both Big and Berger is undeniable; she feels butterflies and sparks are flying. However, both relationships ended up being totally messy.
That’s because attraction alone isn’t love.
Chemistry is exciting, but it can also mask ansia o questioni irrisolte.
Feeling butterflies doesn’t mean you’ve met the one; it might just mean you’re feeling restless because something is wrong.
Love is deep, stable, and often not glamorous. So, don’t confuse infatuation with true love.
The next time you feel that rush, remember this lesson: If there’s no trust and consistency, chemistry alone is worth nothing.
4. Behavior Is a Message
Carries spent so long trying to coerce Big into saying that he loved her, planning elaborate schemes to get him to see her worth.
But what she needed to do was stop trying to get him to see her value and observe his.
His behavior told her all she needed to know – he didn’t prioritize her, didn’t introduce her to his loved ones, and he didn’t even want to define their relationship.
This is the lesson we’ve heard a thousand times, and still struggle with: Actions speak louder than words.
If someone is consistently unavailable or dismissive, no amount of chasing will change that.
Pay close attention to how people treat you, and if it’s not fair, be ready to leave.
Trust their behavior, because it’s often a lot more honest than words.
5. Exes Come Back When You’re Happy
Has your ex popped up once you were finally happy again and no longer interested? Yeah, they tend to do that.
Big brought so much mess into Carrie and Aiden’s relationship, and Steve also started showing interest in Miranda again when she was finally happy with someone else.
The important lesson here is that you shouldn’t allow them back in.
And they’re not always trying to get back together, either; sometimes, it’s simply your glow-up and happiness that briefly attract them.
The moment you confirm that you’d be willing to try again, they’re back to their old habits.
6. Your Outlook on Love Needs an Update
Charlotte’s idea of love was deeply idealistic, and she spent years looking for her prince charming.
But, boy, did reality hit her when she married Trey, and his deep-seated emotional unavailability came into play.
So, while it’s natural to have expectations and ideals, love doesn’t always turn out exactly as we imagined. That’s why it’s important that our idea of love evolves.
The lesson is to be flexible.
Don’t tie yourself down to a single type and potentially miss out on some wonderful people you meet along the way.
Love often requires growth, compromise, and letting go of those outdated expectations.
7. Perfect on Paper Isn’t Always Perfect IRL
Continuing with Charlotte.
She’s dated a number of men who matched her idea of perfection – handsome, well-educated, old-money background – yet she always ended up deluso.
This trend reached its peak with Trey, who was truly wonderful and loved her, but refused to be flexible and fight for their relationship.
Then she met Harry, a man she usually wouldn’t look at twice, and gave him a chance. Not out of desperation, but because she has evolved enough to search for real values.
Harry had his imperfections, but he was passionate, doting, and absolutely there for her.
For a change, it’s nice to learn our lesson right along with the character, as they finally make the right choice.
8. Sometimes, You Have to Deny Yourself What You Want
SATC fanbase hates Steve with a burning passion, but most of us glaze over the fact that Miranda actively ignored her own needs.
She kept going back to Steve, even when none of their old issues were resolved, or even addressed.
If she’d had the strength to say no to herself, she would have stayed with Robert or found someone else who was on her level.
Instead, she settled for a man who happily allowed her to be a mother, a bread-winner, and the one responsible for everything in their family.
She ended up running his whole life for him because he wouldn’t, and then she even got cheated on down the line.
So, the lesson is that putting yourself first sometimes means denying yourself what you want – since it might not always be what you need.
9. Family Background Is Telling
Carrie and Samantha’s childhoods explain a lot about their love lives.
Carrie grew up without a father figure, which left her to seek men’s validation in all of her later relationships.
Samantha grew up watching her mother struggle with a bunch of children while her father spent his days drunk, and that made her wary of attaccamento emotivo.
Family trauma influences how we approach love, whether we seek approval or shy away from vulnerability.
And we’re not doomed to repeat these patterns if we’re willing to recognize them.
The lesson is to practice self-awareness and know your past, but don’t let it dictate your future.
10. Learning to Be Alone Is Essential
All of the SATC women can be alone from time to time – except Carrie.
She’s deeply uncomfortable being single, craving male attention or, at least, drama.
However, being alone is where you learn to love yourself and find your worth outside of relationships. Without that, you’re just clinging to other people to fill the void.
Solitude can be potenziamento if you embrace it.
So, the lesson is to enjoy your own company and stop waiting for love to complete you. Carrie kinda-sorta learned that in one episode, but swiftly went back to her old ways.
When you’re comfortable alone, love becomes a bonus and not a necessity, which means you’re less likely to settle.
11. There’s No Communication Without Self-Awareness
Miranda’s messy relationship with Steve was a mirror to her lack of self-awareness.
She kept overextending herself, doing everything for him, because she didn’t realize her deep-seated need for control.
Not to make any excuses for Steve – man’s a parasite – but Miranda needed to be clear on what she wanted and deserved.
When you’re self-aware, toxic patterns are easier to spot, and comunicazione becomes possible.
Miranda teaches us an important lesson about ignoring your own needs, and that can easily lead to imbalance and resentment.
12. Learn From the Past
Charlotte learned her lesson from her previous failed relationships and decided to adapt.
She realized that she’s been clinging to false ideals for too long, and finally gave Harry a real shot because he was kind and attentive.
Your past failures should be your stepping stones.
At the same time, learn from others’ pasts, too.
Carrie refused to learn from Big’s past and his inability to stay faithful in committed relationships.
She failed to learn from Berger’s past insecurity and even Petrovsky’s narcissistic tendencies, even after his ex-wife clearly warned her.
So, that’s the final lesson: Observe people carefully, and be very mindful of who you let into your life.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.