Our everyday habits and behaviors can truly reveal who we are on the inside more than we think.
Now, when phones are a huge part of our everyday lives, the way we use them says a lot about our character.
If you want to determine whether your partner or a friend has narcissistic tendencies, you may want to focus on the way they use their phone.
Constantly Ignoring Your Messages On Purpose
One of the first signs of narcissism in phone behavior is when someone purposely stays quiet. A narcissist could take hours or even days to respond, not because they’re busy, but because they want you to be unsure.
They are using delayed replies to influence your feelings by only paying attention when it works for them. This action fuels their ego by making you constantly look for approval. They enjoy that your mood changes based on what they say.
When they eventually do answer, it’s usually casual, like nothing happened. This makes you question how you feel, and you try harder to make them happy. Their silence isn’t because they forgot; it’s because they’re trying to manipulate you by pretending to be indifferent.
Always Posting For Validation And Attention
Narcissists don’t use social media as a diary; they use it as a stage. A lot of the time, their posts look authentic, yet deep down, they are always looking for approval.
They publish pictures, accomplishments, or mysterious phrases merely to get attention and admiration. Every like makes them feel important.
Narcissists think of attention as energy, and they always need to get it from other people. Their phone doesn’t connect them to other people; it just shows them their staged face.
They often compare their likes or following to feel better than others, even if it’s just a little bit of competition with people they know.
They could show a lot of love in public, but seem like they don’t care in private. They think that attention is love, and they’ll keep doing what they’re doing for it, even if the applause starts to feel empty.
Checking Your Phone But Guarding Theirs Closely
A narcissist’s relationship with privacy is never mutual. They’ll want to see your phone, read your texts, or ask who you’re talking to, but they’ll keep their own phone safe like a secret vault.
This shows severe insecurity that is disguised as power. They think that if you are transparent with them, it shows that you are loyal. But for them, being secretive means being in charge.
They are afraid of having their identities revealed, not just because they feel guilty, but also because mystery gives them power. This double standard is how they keep their emotional power.
When you ask them about it, they typically twist it and say you’re not trusting them, and this is a way to transfer the blame. The truth is that their guarded demeanor isn’t protection; it’s manipulation.
Transparency should feel like a two-way street, not like someone is always controlling you. It’s not privacy when someone uses their phone like a weapon; it’s control cloaked in charm.
Using Silence Or “Seen” Messages As Punishment
Silence is one of the quickest ways to show selfishness. They use the “seen” message or the unanswered text as a weapon to make you doubt your worth. This is spiritual starvation, which means not giving someone attention to get control back.
When you try to talk to them, they either ignore you or take a long time to answer. The goal isn’t to talk; it’s to be in charge.
They want you to be worried and want their answer so much that you can forgive them for not responding. This makes you dependent over time; you start assessing your peace by how much they are involved.
This pattern isn’t random; it’s planned conditioning. A healthy person finds peace in silence. A narcissist uses it to get you to chase them. You should not see it as space when someone’s absence feels threatening instead of relaxing.
Taking Everything To Social Media For Show
A narcissist’s online life typically looks great because they choose, exaggerate, and filter things to make them look good. They use social media to change how others see things, not to tell the truth.
This concern with image shows their biggest fear: being normal. Every post is meant to make people admire or envy them. They share big gestures, fancy dinners, or sweet captions, but they don’t talk about their feelings in person.
They typically use social media to make their exes jealous, control the story, or get praise from outsiders. They could be frigid or rude in person, but online, they are quite loving. Due to this dualism, other people are always trying to get their approval.
A lot of the time, when someone looks too flawless, too polished, or too theatrical online, it’s a mask, a performance made to boost an insecure ego.
Flooding You With Messages, Then Disappearing Suddenly
“Love bombing” is one of the most common phone behaviors of narcissists. At first, they shower you with attention, texts, and love, which makes you feel euphoric in a way that feels new and special.
Then, without warning, they disappear, leaving behind silence and perplexity. This pattern gives them what they need spiritually to feel in control. They make you addicted by making you think that their attention makes you happy and their absence makes you sad.
When they come back, they act like nothing happened, which makes you have to forgive them to feel close again. This back-and-forth behavior makes you emotionally dependent. Real love doesn’t change based on how you feel or how you act.
When talking to someone feels like a game of give and take; it’s not connection; it’s control disguised as love. That imbalance is always advantageous for narcissists.
Awareness Is Your Protection
Phones show more truth than words ever could. How someone texts, answers, or disappears demonstrates how emotionally mature they are. Awareness is what protects you spiritually.
When you stop making excuses for red flags and start seeing patterns, manipulation loses its power. People are often lessons sent by the universe, and narcissists are a reminder to put self-respect above getting approval.
You can’t make them act differently, but you can stop letting them consume your energy. Not only should you listen to what people say to you, but also how they use silence, attentiveness, and communication through technology.
Real connection makes you feel protected, not confused. You should never feel like you’re being tested when you talk to the person who is right for you.
Born and raised in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Ever since I was a little girl, my imagination knew no bounds. I remember vividly how I’d scribble down short stories, each page bursting with adventures and characters conjured up from the whimsy of my mind. These stories weren’t just for me; they were my way of connecting with my friends, offering them a slice of my fantasy world during our playtimes. The joy and excitement on their faces as we dived into my fictional realms motivated me to keep writing. This early passion for storytelling naturally evolved into my pursuit of writing, turning a childhood hobby into a fulfilling career.