We all have parts of us that we love and let shine whenever we can. However, we also have the parts we’re not exactly proud of.
These are the parts we hide from view and they make up our shadow self. This shadow self holds all of our repressed parts so that we don’t confront this darker part.
Repressing it may have dire consequences though. The shadow can stay dormant but it comes out in the most unexpected ways if you don’t do any shadow work.
Doing shadow work will help you accept all parts of your authentic self and that will lead to a more fulfilling life.
Now let’s explore the world of shadows!
What Is Shadow Work?
To do shadow work, you first need to understand your shadow self.
This is the part of you that you have repressed e denied for a very long time. If you don’t get to know your shadow self then you might act out o say things you don’t mean.
You can think of yourself as a boiling pot of milk on the stove. If not attended to, it will spill out and create a mess!
Once you find out what these repressed parts of yourself are, they won’t act out anymore and you will be more in tune with yourself.
Discovering what these hidden parts of yourself are won’t be easy, since you’ve spent such a long time denying them.
Ignoring Your Shadow
Ignoring your shadow is never a good idea. This part of your personality just wants to be understood!
If you ignore it for a long time you will never be able to reach your best self.
When you ignore it, it will make itself heard and it can lead to low confidence, ansia, inflated ego e sabotaging yourself e your healthy relationships.
When you ignore the shadow it will also have an effect on the ones around you because you’ll start projecting.
Leading you to judge and scrutinize others for the traits you have as well!
Ways to Do Shadow Work
If what I’ve said resonates with you and you have been having some unwanted outbursts, it might be time to do some shadow work!
Here are a couple of ways you can get started:
1. Pin Down Your Shadow
To start any sort of shadow work, you first need to know your shadow self.
Dig deep e search for the darkest part of yourself. Ask yourself which part is considered bad? Or what are you doing that is holding you back?
Don’t approach it with judgment, but show it compassion and understanding.
Pay attention to triggers, when you’re angry, what made you so? The last time you were jealous, what triggered you?
Ask yourself these types of questions if you want to dig deeper.
Note that you need to be careful when doing shadow work alone, since many people are in denial about their ‘bad’ traits.
Doing shadow work with a professional can help you see these hidden parts of yourself!
2. Go Back to the Beginning
Once you’ve identified your shadow, you need to realize where it stems from!
Remember when and what you were told about your ‘cattivo‘ emotions. What was said about being jealous or angry?
Many children are shamed for being angry or sad and this might lead to unruly emotions as adults!
3. Don’t Be Ashamed
È necessario avoid being ashamed e shaming your shadow. It’s a part of yourself that longs for acceptance and by doing shadow work you need to accept it.
It’s hard to be rejected by others, but it’s even worse when we reject ourselves!
One way you can start accepting yourself is by saying words of affirmation, e.g.:
- I appreciate you
- I care about you
- You are the best
- Siete degni di amore
- I am proud of you
4. Get Buddy-Buddy With Your Shadow
While doing shadow work it’s important to get to know your shadow. Talk to it if you need to, you just have to work with it.
Approach this conflict with your shadow the same way you would approach a conflict with a loved one, full of compassion and in a healthy way.
Listening to the messages your shadow sends will help you navigate through emotions together.
5. Observe Your Triggers
Pay close attention to your triggers and what makes you lose it.
Maybe it’s your child’s messy room or your friend’s loud chewing. Each time you spot your trigger try not to lash out.
Approach these situations carefully and become aware of yourself and your own actions.
6. Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal is a safe way to explore your shadow self. You can let out all of your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper and it won’t judge you!
Sit down every day and write a couple of sentences in your journal. You shouldn’t hold back, let it all out. You can write about whatever crosses your mind.
Maybe it will be uncomfortable at first but you need to step out of your comfort zone and face the shadow!
7. Work With a Professional
Many people can’t do shadow work on their own and that’s completely fine!
Tuttavia, you should never be ashamed of seeking out professional help. Shadow work can be extremely difficult and painful, so it’s not always a good idea to go through it on your own.
A professional will be able to offer support and spot patterns that you alone maybe couldn’t.
A trained professional can help you explore your subconscious and find the lost parts of yourself!
Embrace All of You
You can live authentically only if you accept all of yourself. By doing this you will improve your mental health and your wellbeing.
Shadow work is definitely not easy, but it is a great way to develop self-reflection and introspection.
If you struggle with shame, fear and irritation while doing shadow work, it’s better to seek professional help.
These fears will make you less compassionate towards yourself, and compassion is the most important thing during shadow work.
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