Having high standards is a great thing. No one should ever lower the bar just so they’re not alone.
But there is a fine line between knowing what you want and having crazy expectations.
Are you in for a little introspezione?
Let’s see whether your standards make perfect sense or if they’re doing you more harm than good.
1. You Have the List
If you have a lengthy checklist for a potential partner, it’s a problem.
Your standards should naturally cover physical appearance, kindness, and job status. But when it gets nitpicky about details, you’re crossing into the unreasonable.
You might be rejecting great people because of some niche things.
Dating isn’t shopping; you don’t get to pick and choose parts of people that you like while disregarding those that you don’t.
If you can’t find chiunque who fits your preference, the problem might be you.
2. You Don’t Even Meet Your Standards
You know your standards are messed up when even you can’t meet them! You simply can’t demand the things that you’re not willing to give in return.
I mean, you can, but how many people would actually be willing to put up with that?
You can’t expect to keep a partner who’s emotionally intelligent while you throw tantrums all the time. Just like you can’t demand faithfulness if you have the wandering eye.
If you are not bringing the same energy to the table, most people would tell you you’re not welcome.
So, before you demand perfection, take a hard look at yourself.
3. You Make Demands on the First Date
A first date should be casual. It’s your chance to check out the other person while not making any commitments.
But if you’re going to start laying ultimatums right then and there, you’ll scare off any normal person.
No one gets to demand exclusivity and investments from someone they just met – though certain relationship gurus would have you believe otherwise.
You need to slow down.
Overwhelming your date with your standards right off the bat will only make you seem desperate to lock them down.
Let the relationship take its own course. If you end up not liking them, you can always ghost.
4. You Expect Perfect Looks
The obsession with perfect faces and bodies needs to be addressed.
The filters and the CGI characters have clearly messed up our standards, and we need to snap out of it.
You are dismissing people who have normal human bodies, like a little belly and some cellulite.
It’s unreasonable to expect someone to always be dolled up. You know, even the most ripped people only look like that before meals.
While having preferences is okay, aesthetics still shouldn’t be more important than connessione.
You want a partner, not a trophy.
5. You Want Good Treatment Without Giving It
Everyone loathes entitled persone.
You can’t treat your date or the waiter like garbage, and then expect them to be kind.
Being high-maintenance is one thing; being rude is something else entirely.
People pick up on that energy, and even if you’re not nasty to them in that very moment, they know it’s only a matter of time.
Expecting to be treated with dignity is a perfectly good standard, but like all others, you must be willing to reciprocate.
6. Money Requirements
Stabilità finanziaria is important, especially in your late twenties and later.
No one wants to commit to a person who’s lazy and unmotivated. However, some of these money standards are off the charts.
You want a partner your age who earns a fortune, and you’re like 25? I mean, you do understand they’re fresh out of university and probably still an intern?
Also, it’s insane to expect a boyfriend or girlfriend to pay your rent or give an allowance to your children. These are all expectations that I’ve seen floating around the internet.
It’s good to look for ambizione e etica del lavoro, but please, don’t start with numbers.
7. You’re Led by Romance Movies
Your average relationship has some grand romantic moments, but they’re typically reserved for special occasions.
If you expect your partner to sweep you off your feet every day, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Big declarations of love and a partner who always knows exactly how to fix your day aren’t realistic standards; at least not always.
Real life doesn’t come with slow motion and a piano soundtrack.
Se Hollywood fantasy is your standard, no regular person can measure up.
8. You Expect to Be the Apple of Their Eye
This isn’t a standard; it’s a red flag.
You can’t expect your partner not to have a life outside di the relationship. They won’t always be able to cancel plans and postpone their deadlines.
They have work, family, friends, and hobbies, all of which demand time.
If you expect them to abandon it all when it suits you, you might have some problemi di controllo.
Of course, you should be their priority, but all within reason.
9. You Expect Them to Read Your Mind
I can empathize with this standard just a little bit: You want love, affection, attention, gifts, and you don’t want to have to ask for any of it.
I get it, but this expectation easily goes too far.
At some point, you have to keep in mind that your partner is handling a lot more than just your relationship. Have mercy, and just tell them what you need.
It’s okay to expect them to remember anniversaries and the important, everyday stuff.
However, no one can read your mind. A relationship can’t survive when one person is constantly forced to guess what the other is thinking.
A little Aquarius, devoted to writing and embroidery. Through my writing, I hope to empower readers to align with their true selves and navigate life’s mysteries with confidence.