It feels good when you make someone else happy. Being a people pleaser is an addiction for many people.
Some people just don’t know how to say no, and others just want to be heroes.
Being Kind And Helpful Isn’t Bad, But Boundaries Must Exist
If you’re focusing on your spiritual journey, you know that kindness and compassion are important for your spirit.
You know that helping other people and doing them a favor will make you a better person.
But, balance is the key to happiness. It’s possible to be too nice and too helpful.
Some people are tricky and their only goal is to take advantage of someone. Some people aren’t tricky, but they’re simply lazy and irresponsible.
The point is – you have to stand up for yourself. You have to know when it’s time to stop.
You can’t be perfect, and some people will never appreciate you enough.
On the other hand, people who truly love won’t ask you to please them all the time.
They will allow you to be yourself. They will allow you to choose your own path.
Being there for someone in hard times and helping them is truly amazing, but if people are constantly asking you to do something for them and you keep doing it, you’re a people pleaser, and you need help.
1. Saying No Won’t Kill You
If you’re a nice person who has a good relationship with most people, saying no is a challenge.
Don’t get me wrong – saying no is uncomfortable is hard for most people, and you’re not weird.
But, the truth is – saying no won’t kill anyone. Saying no won’t destroy you.
Saying no might cause arguments and problems if the other person is not tolerant, but it’s your right to say no.
When you’re tired from everything, and you feel like people are burdening you with irrelevant things, say no.
When you feel used by someone, say no to them. Don’t worry about their reaction. If they get mad, then they shouldn’t be a part of your life.
You have the right to freedom. You have the right to do everything you want. So, if you feel like saying no – say it.
2. Be Yourself
Sometimes being a people pleaser isn’t about doing certain things or saying the right words.
Sometimes being a people pleaser means pretending to be someone else just to fit in.
Sometimes you just want to feel accepted. Maybe you want to avoid some reactions or judgment.
Being insecure is normal. Pretending a little bit from time to time is also normal.
But, pretending and acting all the time is not okay. It’s not good for your mental health. It’s not good for your confidence either.
Speaking of confidence – learn how to boost yours. You have to be proud of yourself.
You have to love yourself no matter what other people think, say, or do.
When you accept yourself, you will be yourself. You won’t be eager to fit in. You won’t care about fitting in.
You won’t even think about pretending just to impress someone.
Stop pleasing people and stop acting according to their expectations. Be free and be you.
3. Be Direct
Some people end up like people pleasers because they’re not brave enough to tell the truth and be direct.
Sometimes they’re scared. Sometimes they’re afraid. Sometimes they simply don’t want to hurt others.
Life is filled with disappointment and good news. It’s not pleasant to ruin something for someone, but you have to be honest.
When you don’t like something or someone, say it. When you don’t want to do something, say it.
Be direct. Be honest. Be concrete. You don’t have to be rude. You can tell the truth without being harsh.
If you don’t know the right words, learn them. Work on your vocabulary. Prepare a speech if you must.
Just don’t play games and don’t allow yourself to do something you don’t want just because you don’t dare to be direct.
4. Think About Yourself, Not Others
Thinking about other people and their needs is truly wonderful, but sometimes you have to take a break.
Sometimes you have to prioritize yourself, your emotions, your needs, and your mood.
Sometimes you shouldn’t think about the reasons and consequences. Try to live in the moment and focus on yourself.
Don’t make excuses for other people and their unrealistic expectations. Don’t make excuses for yourself and your need to please anyone.
Be a little selfish and do something for yourself, not others. It’s a good idea to ask others to do something for you.
This will break the circle of you pleasing others. It will also help you to see who is there for you when you need something.
If you want to break the habit of pleasing people, you have to switch things up. You have to be more self-focused.
5. Start Your Personal Journey
When you feel like you can’t get rid of others and their demands, just start your own project or continue one.
This will drain your energy and you won’t be available to others all the time. Focus on something that can be beneficial for you only.
It can be anything that interests you. You will feel the need to realize your goals.
You will feel the need to spend your time on yourself.
Finally, you won’t have a lot of time to please others. You won’t be in the mood to cater to their needs.
In Conclusion
Being a people please means being a kind-hearted person. If you’re a people pleaser, you have to change your attitude.
Kindness and generosity are wonderful traits, but you have to set some boundaries. You have to learn to listen to your inner voice.
Even when you want to please people who truly love you no matter what, sometimes you have to say no to them.
You deserve a break and people should handle their lives. You have your own life to take care of.
I always felt a strong connection to the Divine since my birth. As an author and mentor, my mission is to help others find love, happiness, and inner strength in the darkest of times.